Nameless
by BlaineSadist
Summary: AU. Everyone has the name of their soulmate written on their wrist at birth. Well, everyone except Dean Winchester.
1. Chapter 1

So this is my first Supernatural story and I'm really interested to know what you think. Should I continue?

I don't own Supernatural.

* * *

"John! John, wake up!" Mary said loudly as she shook her husband, trying to get him out of his deep sleep.

"Whatsgoinon?" John asked sleepily.

"I need to go to the hospital. My water broke. He's coming!"

John, who was suddenly much more awake and alert, jumped out of bed to help his wife out of bed and out to the car.

"Did you grab the bag?" Mary asked as she took deep breaths to try to calm herself down.

"Shit. Be right back," John said before running back into the house. Seconds later, the bag was in the back seat and they were off to the hospital.

John pulled up to the emergency room, where the staff immediately helped Mary out of the car and into the hospital. Not long after, John was at Mary's bedside, talking to her and trying to keep her calm.

After fourteen long hours, their son, Dean, was born. The doctor carefully placed Dean into Mary's waiting arms.

"He's finally here, John," Mary said, not taking her eyes off of her son.

"I know, baby. He's beautiful."

"Can we take your son for just a moment? We just want to get him cleaned up," one of the nurses asked after a few minutes. Mary reluctantly handed her son over to the nurses, but her eyes never left Dean. The nurses took Dean so they could get his measurements and get him all cleaned up.

"He's absolutely perfect," Mary said, finally looking back at John.

John quickly wiped away the tears from his own eyes and looked at his wife. "Just wait until his soulmate gets to meet him."

Mary sighed. "But then I'm going to have to let him go."

"You're going to have to let him go sometime, Mary. At least we have a long time until that happens."

"I still don't want to ever let him go," Mary said again.

Just then John and Mary noticed that the doctor had come back into the room and was looking at Dean. Mary immediately started to worry that something was wrong with her son.

"I'm sure it's nothing," John said reassuringly.

"But what if something's wrong?"

"Nothing's going to be wrong, Mary. I promise," John said, hoping that that was the case. He truly couldn't imagine how having something wrong with Dean would affect him, let alone Mary.

The doctor walked over with the nurses. One of the nurses gave Dean back to Mary. "We need to discuss some things," the doctor said and Mary was sure that she felt her heart drop.

"What's wrong with Dean?" Mary asked quietly.

"Nothing's wrong, exactly. At least not medically," the doctor added. "But it seems that Dean doesn't have a name."

"What do you mean he doesn't have a name?" John asked quickly. Mary on the other hand, was already trying to see Dean's wrist, and sure enough, just like the doctor said, there was no name on Dean's wrist. Mary felt the tears well up in her eyes. This couldn't be happening.

"I have no explanation for it, but it appears that your son doesn't have a name."

"What's that gonna mean for Dean?" John asked, noticing that Mary couldn't seem to bring herself to ask the doctor any questions.

"I really don't know. A name may show up later, but I don't really know. I've never heard of anything happening before. But as far as I can tell, Dean's completely fine otherwise," the doctor explained.

John didn't know what to think. Here was his beautiful son who didn't have a name on his wrist. Everyone else on the planet had a name on their wrist that corresponded to his or her soulmate. John stared down on his own wrist. He had know that he was going to be with Mary since he was able to read, but here was his son, who as of right now looked like he was going to be alone for most of his life.

"There's gotta be something you can do, doc," John pleaded. "Anything."

The doctor sighed. "There's nothing I can do. We just don't know that much about the names, and as far as we know, Dean is the only person without one. I'm really sorry Mr. Winchester, but there's nothing I can do."

"So my son's going to just be alone forever? That's what it's going to be?" John asked, starting to get angrier, although he wasn't sure if he was mad at the doctor or if he was just mad at God and the universe.

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Winchester. I really am, and if there was anything I could do for you, anything at all, I would. But all I can say is that we're just going to have to wait and see what happens."

"Great. Just great."

"John," Mary said, quietly. "It's going to be ok."

"But Mary—"

"John, Dean is healthy, that's what matters, right? We'll get through this. Dean will, too."

John sighed. Mary was right, even if he didn't want to admit it.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was now three years old and nothing had changed. He still didn't have a name and the doctor's still had no explanation for why he didn't have one. John had insisted on getting an opinion from every doctor so they could get to the bottom of it. Mary, on the other hand, was just happy that her son was alive and healthy. After all, that was more important than having a name. But she had to admit, it would be comforting to know why Dean didn't have a name.

Dean stood on a stool in the kitchen, helping his mom cook dinner.

"Momma? What's on your arm?" Dean asked curiously as he stared at Mary's wrist.

Mary looked at both of her arms and saw nothing out of the ordinary. "There's nothing on my arm, silly."

"Yeah there is. It's right there," Dean said, pointing to Mary's wrist.

Mary realized what Dean was pointing at and ran a hand across her forehead. Both her and John were hoping that Dean wouldn't ask about the names. They weren't stupid. They knew he would ask at some point, but they were really hoping that Dean wouldn't ask this soon, or that even better, his name would actually show up before they would have to have this conversation.

"It's your daddy's name," Mary explained, wondering how on earth she was going to explain it to a three year old. John and Mary spent a lot of time talking about it, but they never really discussed how they were going to explain it to Dean.

"But you tells me that we's not supposed to draw on ourself," Dean said.

"That's right. We shouldn't draw on our self. Mommy was born with your daddy's name on her wrist."

Dean looked up at his mother, clearly confused. "Why?"

"It's because I'm his soulmate. It means that mommy and daddy love each other very, very much."

"Oh. Does daddy have a name?"

"Yes. Daddy has mommy's name written on his wrist. Your Grandma and Grandpa had their names on their wrist. And Mr. and Mrs. Gray across the street have each other's names on their wrist."

"So everyone has a name?" Dean questioned.

Mary sighed. What was she supposed to say to Dean? "Just about everyone."

"Ok." Dean looked down at his own arms and saw that they were blank. He turned his hand over. Maybe his name was on the other side.

Mary watched Dean flip his wrists over and over again, just looking for a name, even if he wouldn't be able to read it. She felt her heart break because she knew that he was going to realize that he didn't have a name.

"Momma? Why don't I has a name?"

Mary sighed. "We don't know, sweetie."

"But you has a name and daddy has a name and Grandma and Grandpa has a name. Why don't I has a name?" Dean looked up at Mary with big green eyes.

"We don't know, sweetie. It just means your special."

"But how come everyone else has names and I don't?"

"Everyone else was born with a name, sweetie. No one knows why it is."

Dean was silent as he climbed down off of the stool.

"Dean, come here."

Dean turned around and looked at his mom. She quickly walked over and pulled him into a hug. "Just because you don't have a name, doesn't mean you aren't special. You are one of a kind. Your name might just come later."

"Ok, mommy."

"Why don't you go play in the living room until daddy gets home?"

"Ok," Dean said before walking out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Mary watched her son walk over to the toy bin and pull out some superhero action figures to play with. Dean didn't say anything, but she knew that even at three years old, it was bothering him. Most parents have an easy conversation about names with their child. 'That name is who you are going to marry one day. It's the name of your soulmate.' And that's all that needs to be said on the subject. If only it were that easy with Dean.

Later that night, Mary had put Dean to bed and sat down next to John on the couch. "What's up?" John asked.

"What do you mean?" Mary asked, trying to appear like nothing was bothering her.

"You've been acting off all day."

"Dean asked about his name today," Mary said quietly.

That was definitely not the answer John was expecting. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him what I could. I told him what a name means and that people are born with them."

"But what about why he doesn't have a name? Did he even ask about that?"

"Of course he asked about it. I just told him that it could come later. I didn't know what else I could say."

"But what if it doesn't?" John asked. It was something John always asked every doctor they talked to. What's going to happen if Dean doesn't have a name?

"He is three years old, John. He doesn't need to know that he might not ever have a name or that he is the only person in the world without a name. Let him be a kid for a while."

"But, we've been to how many doctors and specialists. They don't know what's wrong with him."

"And he is three years old. He shouldn't have to worry about that. When you were three, were you worrying about your name?"

John looked down at the floor. Of course he wasn't worrying about a name when he was three.

"I just say we let him be a kid and we can worry about it later. And besides, there is still is a possibility that he could get a name."

"You really think that Dean is going to get a name?" John asked.

"I don't think it's that far of a stretch. At this point anything is possible. I just want my baby to be happy."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N:

So I just wanted to say thank you all so much. I'm completely blown away by all of the support for this story. Please continue letting me know what you think, I love hearing it.

Also, this is the last chapter I had prewritten, so it may be a little bit longer of a wait, although it still shouldn't be that long, between chapters from no on thanks to school.

Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think.

* * *

Dean was excited that he was going to be a big brother. It meant that he was going to have someone to play with and someone to teach everything he knew to.

Several months after Mary and John had told Dean that he was going to be a big brother, Samuel Winchester finally entered the world. Mary remained at the hospital with Sam, while John went to the neighbor's house to pick up Dean so he could finally meet his baby brother.

When they got to the hospital, Dean immediately went over to his mother's bed and climbed up to get a good luck at his brother.

"What do you think, Dean?"

"He's really tiny."

"You were that small when you were born, too."

"No, I wasn't."

Mary laughed. "Yes you were. You were about the size of Sammy."

"Really?"

"Really," John answered from behind Dean. "So what do you think? Think we can play catch with Sammy?"

"Not yet. He's too little."

"Ok, maybe when he's bigger."

"Yeah and then I can teach him hows to play baseball and catch and football," Dean said excitedly.

Mary just smiled, happy that Dean was so happy to have a brother.

Mary and John had brought Sam home from the hospital. It was definitely different for Dean, now that he wasn't an only child anymore, but he liked being able to help his mom with Sam.

As Dean was helping his mom change Sam's diaper, Dean noticed something. "Momma?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"How come Sammy's got a name?"

It had been several months since she had had to explain names to Dean and they hadn't really talked about them since. But it had appeared like Dean hadn't forgot about them.

"Because that's how he was born."

"But I don't gots one," Dean said, sadly.

Mary sighed. "We don't know Dean. Yours might just come later."

"But Sammy already gots one."

"I know, sweetie. But it's just how it happened. We'll figure it out eventually."

"It's not fair."

"It just means you're special."

"I don't wants to be special. I wants a name like you and daddy and Sammy."

"Oh, Dean." Mary pulled Dean into a hug, knowing that there was nothing else more she could do.

"Momma?"

"What, dear?"

"If it's the name of the person you're gonna marry, you love the person a lot, right?"

"Yes. You love them very, very much."

"Does that mean no one's gonna love me?" Dean asked, looking at his mother with tears in his eyes.

"Dean, that doesn't mean that. I still love you. Daddy still loves you."

Dean sniffled and said, "Ok."

"Dean, just because you don't have a name, doesn't mean your daddy or I will love you any less."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

It wasn't too much longer after that when a fire came and destroyed their entire home, taking Mary along with it. John was completely distraught and had no idea how to go about raising two young boys on his own.

Dean was upset too. He missed his mom, but he still had his dad and Sammy.

After talking to some people and gathering some information, John made the decision to quit his job as a mechanic and leave Lawrence altogether. John took the boys across the country so he could learn all about the evil in the world, specifically so he could one day kill the thing that had taken his soulmate away from him.

Dean quickly adapted and focused all of his attention on his little brother. He wasn't going to let anything happen to Sammy.

"Hey, Dean. What's this?" Sam asked, pointing to his wrist.

"That's a name," Dean answered briefly. Why wasn't his dad here to explain this stuff to Sam? He didn't normally have a problem with it, but times liked this really sucked.

"Why's there a name?"

"It's the name of the person you're gonna marry."

"What's marry?"

"It means you're gonna love someone a lot and go live with them," Dean said, trying to figure out how to explain marriage to his younger brother. Seriously, of all the days Sam had to ask these things, it had to be on a day when his dad wasn't here.

"So I'm not gonna live with you and dad anymore?"

"Well, you're gonna be living with us for a long time yet, but eventually you're gonna go live with your soulmate."

"I don't want to leave you," Sam said sadly.

"Sammy, you're not going to be leaving for a really, really long time. I promise."

"Ok." Sam said as he looked at the name again. "What's it say?"

Dean had to laugh. Leave it to Sam to ask about the significance of the name before asking what it actually says.

Dean walked over and looked at Sam's wrist. "Jessica Moore."

"Who's that?" Sam asked.

"Dunno. You'll meet her eventually and then get married."

"What's your name?"

"Why do you want to know my name?" Dean asked, hoping that he could avoid the subject with his brother. He really didn't want to have to explain to a four year old why he didn't have a name, especially why he had no idea why he didn't have one.

"My name says who I'm gonna marry. Who are you gonna marry?"

"It doesn't matter, Sammy. Why don't you go watch cartoons?"

Sam pouted, wanting an answer from Dean. Dean finally relented, cursing the fact that he couldn't say no to Sam.

"I don't have a name."

"Huh?"

"I don't have a name, Sam."

"But I gots a name. Why don't you?"

"I don't know, Sam."

"Why?"

"I don't know!" Dean yelled, but he instantly regretted it when he saw the hurt look on his brother's face. "Sammy, I'm sorry."

Sammy sniffed. "It's ok, Dean."

"Sammy, look at me. I'm really sorry for yelling at you. I didn't mean it."

"Then why'd you do it?"

Dean sighed. "I just don't like talking about how I don't have a name."

"Why?"

Dean took a deep breath to calm himself down. He knew that Sammy didn't mean to make him upset. Sammy was just curious, sometimes too curious for his own good. "I just don't, Sam. Ok?"

"It's not fair."

Dean looked at his brother. "What's not fair?"

"You don't have a name."

Dean didn't say anything, but he couldn't help but silently agree with Sam.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Just wow. I seriously cannot believe all of the alerts, favorites, and reviews this story has gotten. Keep it up! I love getting feedback from you. Also, a few things about the story. I skipped ahead a bit and Dean is now a teenager. The next couple of chapters will be jumping forward so we can get to meeting Cas. There's just a few things that I want to cover before we actually meet him. Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think.

* * *

Life on the road had no doubt been hard for Dean. He was constantly moving and therefore constantly being forced to meet new people. Early on, Dean learned that it was best just to hide his wrist. Everyone who saw that there wasn't a name on it made a point to ask him about it. For some reason, people didn't seem to understand that not having a name doesn't make you special. It just means that unlike every other person in the entire world, you don't have a soulmate.

Dean didn't understand it. He was sure that if he had had a name and saw someone that didn't, he would be curious, too. But he sure wouldn't go up to that person and directly interrogate them about it. Although, that belief of not interrogating people may have come from in own experience of being interrogated for his entire life.

Dean had also decided very early on that every one else was lucky. Not only did they have a soulmate, they didn't have to deal with questions about it. It didn't matter what their name said, but it apparently meant everything that he didn't have a name. It just wasn't fair, another lesson Dean had learned.

Somehow, no matter where they ended up, someone always managed to see that Dean's wrist was blank. Dean did his best to hide it, but it didn't always work. It used to happen all of the time during gym class, but Dean got smart. He started taking a pen and writing some random name on his wrist, which worked as long as no one knew the name.

Now that Dean was a teenager, it had gotten really bad. It used to be just the adults questioning about his name, but now the students started to get invested in finding not only their soulmates, but the soulmates of their classmates. It was frustrating for Dean and he tried to ignore it as best as he could.

Dean and Sam had been at their school in Wyoming for about three weeks. Dean didn't know how long they were going to be at this school, but Dean hoped it would be a while, just so Sam could have some sense of normalcy after being bounced around from school to school since he started.

John had gotten home late from a hunt last night. Dean learned quickly that when his dad got home from a hunt, he was usually drunk, meaning that Dean would be forced to take care of his dad during the night and then still go to school the next day. It was hard, but he managed.

Dean had gotten changed in the locker room and went into the gym for his gym class. He didn't see the point. He could easily out perform all of these kids, as well as most of the students in the high school, but yet they still made him take gym. Since his dad got home late the previous night, Dean had been tired and hadn't remembered to write a name on his wrist so he could look normal while he wore a short-sleeved shirt. By the time he had noticed that he didn't write anything, it was too late.

"What's up with your name?" Michael asked as they stood in line waiting for gym to start.

Dean mentally cursed. "Don't worry about it."

"What? You embarrassed of it or something?"

"I said drop it."

"Why? You can see all of ours, why can't we see yours?"

"Just shut up."

"Come on, Winchester, just –"

Michael was cut off by Dean's fist colliding with Michael's nose. Dean had wound up for another punch, but was stopped by the gym teacher showing up and roughly pulling Dean away. "Office. Now."

Dean, still furious, walked out of the gym and down the hall to the office, knowing that it wasn't going to end well for him. His dad always told him that he needed to stay out of trouble and not draw attention to himself, but that wasn't always the easiest thing to do. Dean tried, he really did, but then things like this came up.

Dean was joined in the office by the gym teacher and they went to the principal's office.

"What seems to be the problem today?" Principal Jacobs asked.

"Mr. Winchester decided that it would be a good idea to attack Michael Waller," the gym teacher explained.

"He had it coming," Dean said angrily, interrupting whatever else the gym teacher was going to say.

"You cannot attack other students, Mr. Winchester. It doesn't matter what he said. We do not tolerate violence at this school," Principal Jacobs explained calmly.

"But other students are allowed to give other kids shit. That seems fair."

"Watch your mouth. Would you care to explain what Michael said?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes it does."

Dean sighed. "He was giving me crap about my name."

"That's no reason to attack a student."

"I told him to stop, but he just kept going on about it."

"In any case, we are trying to contact your father," Principal Jacobs said. Dean wanted to snort, knowing that they were going to have a hell of a time contacting his father. "But we are unable to reach him."

"He's away on business."

"Well he's going to have to come home. You are suspended."

"What?"

"We do not tolerate violence at this school."

"But you sure as hell tolerate students being assholes," Dean muttered under his breath.

"I wouldn't push your luck, Mr. Winchester. You're already looking at a three-day suspension. I don't think you want to make it longer."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Doesn't really matter."

"Five days. You may collect your things and then you need to get off of school property. I do not want to see you here until those five days are done."

"Fine," Dean said before standing up and storming out of the office.

Dean went straight back to the small apartment they were renting and tried to figure out what he was supposed to do. His dad was going to be pissed, but his dad was going to find out sooner or later that he had been suspended.

Dean called the number his dad left, but no one picked up. Maybe his dad was already on his way back.

Three o'clock rolled around and Dean still hadn't heard anything from his dad. All he could hope was that he was on his way home, even if that meant there would be an inevitable blow up. Dean picked Sam up from school and walked him home.

"Dean, where's your backpack?"

"Already home."

"Why?"

"Don't worry about it, Sammy."

"Did you get in trouble again?"

How was it that his brother always knew when something was wrong? "Yeah."

"Come on, Dean. I don't want to leave."

"I don't even know if we're leaving. I can't get a hold of dad. So don't worry about it, Sammy."

"I like this school. I don't like always having to move."

"Just don't worry about it for now, okay? Wait til dad gets home."

"Fine." Dean could tell that Sam didn't like that answer. Dean could also tell that Sam knew that they were going to end up moving. Dean didn't like always moving around either, but he couldn't wait to get out of this town.

John arrived back at the apartment that night and Dean knew that he would have to tell him what happened.

John was sitting at the table, no doubt researching for his next hunt.

"Dad, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Can it wait?" John asked without looking up from whatever he was researching.

"Not really. I, uh, I got suspended today."

That got John's attention. John looked up and Dean could see the anger and frustration in his eyes.

"Dean, we really can't deal with shit like this."

"I know, dad. I just – I just lost control or something. I didn't mean to," Dean tried to explain.

"What did you do?"

"I attacked a kid."

"Why?"

"He—he wouldn't shut up."

"It's about your name again, isn't it?" Dean just stayed silent. "Dean you've got to just let it go. You can't go attacking people every time they make some comment about it."

"I know that—"

"Then why don't you stop attacking people for mentioning it?"

"I'm sorry, dad."

"Because that makes everything better. Go pack your things. We're leaving tomorrow."

Sam was going to hate him. All of this over the fact he couldn't just be normal.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Once again, thank you to everyone who has reviewed. Also, thank you so much to Emily who has been beta-ing this. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think. I always welcome your feedback.

* * *

Dean turned the doorknob as quietly as he could, trying to sneak into the house without running into his father. Yes, he probably shouldn't have been out as late as he had, but he wasn't about to pass up an opportunity with one of the hottest girls in this town.

Dean walked into the house and silently shut the door behind him. When he turned around, he wasn't expecting to see his father sitting at the kitchen table. Dean immediately noticed the can of beer sitting by his father, as well as the two empty ones that were already laying on the floor.

"Where've you been?" John grunted.

"Just out."

"And you just left your brother here?"

"He's fourteen. And besides you were here."

"That's not what I asked."

_Dammit_, Dean thought. It was going to be one of _those_ nights.

"What was so important that you had to sneak out of the house and leave your brother alone?" John asked.

"It was nothing. I'm sorry, dad."

"It was something. Otherwise you wouldn't have pulled a boneheaded move like this."

Dean remained silent.

"Answer me, Dean. That's an order," John growled.

"I just went out to meet this girl and –"

"That's what this is? You left your brother alone to go hook up with some girl? I can't believe this."

"Dad, it's not—"

"It's not what? It's not as bad as I think? Explain it to me then."

Dean couldn't think of any way to explain it to his father. John was right. He should have stayed here with Sam.

"Dammit, Dean!" John yelled after it was clear that Dean wasn't going to say anything. "You've gotta stop doing this."

"Doing what exactly? Going out?"

"Sleeping around. Why don't you show yourself some respect, boy?"

"Why?" Dean asked, unsure why now, all of the sudden he decided that he was going to question his father. It wasn't the first time that John had caught him sneaking in after spending time with a girl, so he had heard this speech more than once. And it wasn't like Dean went out when they were in the middle of a hunt or left Sam completely alone. Dean wasn't stupid.

"Why? Because it's common sense. You really think that your –"

"My what? My soulmate? If you haven't noticed I haven't exactly got one and it looks like that's never gonna change. So, I'm sorry but I don't see the point," Dean responded angrily. The worst part was Dean knew that this conversation would have happened sooner or later, even if Dad wasn't drunk.

"I thought I raised you better than this."

"Better than what?"

"I thought I raised you to have more respect for other people."

"I do have respect for people. You think I'm taking advantage of this girl? Or the girls before her? I'm not gonna make them do anything they don't want to. They were perfectly willing to get with me, even though I don't match the name on their wrist."

"I don't want you to get in trouble," John admitted.

"I'm fine. I can take care of myself. You made sure of that. And I'm not forcing anybody to do anything. Worry about all the other crap in the world. You don't have to worry about me."

John was silent, trying to process what had all been said. He found himself wishing, not for the first time, that Mary was still here. She would have been so much better at these kinds of things.

"Are we done?" Dean asked.

"I guess."

* * *

"Did you and Dad fight again?" Sam asked as Dean walked into the room.

"Kinda. I doesn't matter."

"But you and dad _never_ fight."

"Whatever you say, Sammy."

Sam was silent for a minute before asking, "What were you guys fighting about?"

"Don't worry about it, Sammy," Dean said before flopping on his bed.

"He caught you with some girl again, didn't he?"

"It doesn't matter."

"I heard you guys. He said something about girls and soulmates."

"Look, Sammy. You don't have to worry about me. You just need worry about finding that Jessica girl."

"But what about you? What are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?" Dean questioned, turning to look at his brother.

"Say I find Jessica. What are you going to do?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. This, I guess."

"You're just going to keep hunting?"

"I don't see why not?"

"But don't you want a normal life, Dean?"

"Sam, I'm not going to get a normal life. And besides, I'm good at this."

Sam stayed quiet after that. Why couldn't Dean see that there was more to life than just hunting?

* * *

It wasn't even four years later that Sam decided that he was leaving. Dean came back to the crappy house they were living in to find Sam and their father screaming at each other.

"I don't want this life! I've never wanted this life!" Sam yelled.

"What about your mother?!" John yelled just as loud.

"I don't even remember mom!"

"Guys, just stop it!" Dean yelled trying to get some control of the situation, but it failed miserably.

"Fine, Sam. You leave, but if you walk out that door, don't you dare come back!"

"Fine! Wouldn't want to come back to this hell hole anyway!"

"Just wait!" Dean tried again, but he may have just as well tried to get a fish to listen to him.

Sam had already grabbed his bag and walked out the front door. Dean ran after him, hoping to talk some sense into his brother. He knew it was going to be pointless though. The fights between his brother and father had been getting worse and worse as time went on and it was only a matter of time before something like this happened.

"Sam, just wait one second!" Dean called.

Sam stopped and turned around, still fuming after his fight with his dad. "What do you want? Tell me that I should stay gone, too?"

"What? No. Of course, not. Sammy, just think about this –"

"I have thought about this, Dean. I've wanted out of here for years, and I finally got out."

"So that's it, you're just going to leave me and Dad?"

Sam looked down at the ground for a few seconds before saying "You could come with me."

"Sammy—"

"Come on, Dean. A normal life?" Sam looked into his brother's eyes, pleading with him.

"Sam, we've been through this. I'm never gonna have a normal life."

Sam looked at his brother and then at the ground again. "So I guess this is it then?"

"You really gonna leave? Turn your back on me and Dad?"

"What choice do I have?"

"You could stay with us."

"I don't want that, Dean. You know that."

Dean took a deep breath and nodded. "Fine. Just—Just take care of yourself, Sammy."

"You too."

Dean watched Sam turn around and walk away. He thought about chasing after Sam, but he knew he was needed here.

Dean took a deep breath and walked back into the house. Ignoring his father, Dean went straight to the room he and Sam were sharing. At least it couldn't get much worse than this, right?

* * *

Unfortunately for Dean, it could get worse. His father was convinced that Dean was old enough to hunt on his own. Now not only had he lost his brother, but Dean practically lost his father. The only time he talked to his father was if his father had a specific hunt he needed Dean to take care of.

The loneliness sucked, but Dean did his best to fill that void. The sex felt great physically, but it did nothing to fill the void of his missing family. Maybe it was because Dean never stuck around. He was always gone before whatever-her-name-was woke up the next morning. He just couldn't really handle getting too attached.

* * *

It had been about two and a half weeks since Dean had last heard from his father and frankly Dean was starting to get worried. He knew his father was a fantastic hunter, but hunting was dangerous and who knew what had happened to him. Dean tried everything he could do to contact his father or at least figure out if he was still alive. But after a week of no success, Dean decided that he would have to find his dad, but he need some help with that. Dean pushed the gas pedal down as far as he could and headed west toward California.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I didn't mean to take this long between updates, but school just got really intense these last two weeks. I have about a month and a half left until summer, so until then, it may take a while between updates. I'm sorry, but I kind of have to put school first. Second, yes this chapter contains a lot of dialogue and plot from the pilot, but it's important. Also, because of that, it's twice as long as the last chapter. Make of that what you will. Third, we are very close to meeting Cas (I'm probably about as excited as you guys are). Finally, thank you so much. I'm still blown away by the amount of reviews, alerts, and favorites this story has received. So thank you so much. Please consider leaving a review and letting me know what you think. Also, to haizegato and Hylia'grace who have specifically mentioned it in reviews, I'm sorry. And to everyone else I'm sorry. End of ridiculously long author's note. On with the story.

* * *

Dean had to admit, finding his brother's apartment and breaking in didn't take much effort. He was kind of disappointed in Sam. It seemed that Sam had either forgotten or just didn't care about everything he learned growing up. Dean quietly made his way into Sam's apartment, ready to wait all night if he had to. But it seemed that Sam hadn't forgotten everything. Sam still had his keen sense of hearing. Sam moved to attack Dean, but Dean heard Sam first and was able to pin him to the floor.

"Whoa. Easy tiger," Dean said looking down at Sam as he pinned Sam to the floor.

"Dean?" Sam asked confused. "You scared the crap out of me."

Dean smirked. "That's cause you're outta practice." Before Dean could say more, Sam used all of his body strength to flip Dean off of him and pin him to the floor. "Or not," Dean remarked. "Get off of me."

Sam helped Dean up and asked, "Dean, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well I was looking for a beer," Dean said innocently.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked again.

Not wanting to anger his brother anymore, because Dean knew he needed Sam's help for this, Dean said, "Ok. Alright. We gotta talk."

"Uh, the phone?" Sam said like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"If I'd of called, would you have picked up?" Dean asked. Truth was, if Dean knew that there was even a chance of Sam picking up the phone, Dean would have called. But after not speaking for several years, Dean knew that the only way that he would even have a chance of getting his brother's help was to literally show up at his house.

Before Sam could answer, the light turned on. "Sam?" a blonde girl asked.

"Jess, hey." The light bulb went off in Dean's head immediately.

"_Jessica Moore."_

"_Who's that?" Sam asked._

"_Dunno. You'll meet her eventually and then get married."_

"Dean, this is Jessica," Sam said, with a hint of pride in his voice. Dean had to admit that even though it had been miserable not having Sam with him for the last few years, at least Sam was able to find his soulmate. At least something good had come out of all of this.

"Wait? Your brother Dean?" Jessica asked, looking from Sam to Dean.

"I love the Smurfs," Dean said, trying to change the subject. "You know, I gotta tell ya, you are way out of my brother's league."

"We're soulmates," Jessica said simply, holding up her wrist.

"Doesn't change the fact that you are way out of my brother's league."

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Just let me put something on."

"No no no. I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously," Dean added. "Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here and talk about some serious family business, but uh, nice meeting you."

"No," Sam said, rejoining the conversation and walking over by Jessica. "Whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her."

Great. How was he supposed to explain this to a girl who probably didn't even know about what her soulmate's family actually does? "Ok," Dean said, still trying to find the best way to word it. "Um. Dad hasn't been home in a few days."

"So he's working overtime on a Miller time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later."

Obviously, Sam hadn't quite caught on. "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days."

That got Sam's attention. "Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside."

* * *

Dean walked outside, followed closely by Sam. "You can't just break in in the middle of the night and expect me to hit the road with you."

Dean sighed. Sam obviously didn't seem to care that their dad was missing. Sure the last time the two had seen each other, it hadn't been pretty, but Sam still had to care about dad a little bit, right? Maybe it was different for Sam though. Their dad was all Dean had. Sam at least had found his soulmate. Maybe it was different. "You're not hearing me, Sammy. Dad's missing and I need you to help me find him."

"You remember the poltergeist in Amherst or the devil's gates in Clifton? He was missing then too. He's always missing and he's always fine," Sam said. Dean had known it was going to be a fight to get Sam to come with him, but he had really hoped it wasn't going to be this hard.

"Not for this long. Now you going to come with me or not?"

"I'm not," Sam replied, his voice evident that he wasn't going to change his mind.

"Why not?" Dean asked.

"I swore I was done hunting. For good."

"Come on. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad."

"Yeah?" Sam asked. "When I told dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45."

"Well what was he supposed to do?"

"I was nine years old. He was supposed to say 'don't be afraid of the dark'."

"Don't be afraid of the dark?" Dean asked, incredulously. "What are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark. You know what's out there."

"Yeah I know. But still, the way we grew up after mom was killed and dad's obsession to find the thing that killed her. But we still haven't found the damn thing. So we kill everything we can find."

"Save a lot of people doing it too."

"You think mom would have wanted this for us? The weapon training? The melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors."

"So what are you going to do? Marry your soulmate? Live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?" Dean asked.

"Dean, I'm sorry that you can't do that. You just don't get—" Sam stopped immediately regretting what he had just said.

Dean bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath. "You're right. I can't, but I do get that Jess is important to you. But dad's important to me and he's in real trouble right now. I can feel it and I can't do this alone."

"Yes you can," Sam said, knowing full well that Dean was perfectly capable of hunting whatever it was by himself.

"Well, I don't want to," Dean admitted. "You gonna help me or not?"

Sam sighed. "What was he hunting?"

After filling Sam in on everything Dean had gathered, Dean knew Sam was still on the fence about actually coming to help him.

"You know in two years, I've never bothered you, never asked for anything," Dean said.

Sam sighed. "Alright. I'll go. But I have to be back first thing on Monday."

"What's first thing Monday."

"I have this—I have this interview."

"What a job interview? Skip it," Dean said.

"It's a law school interview and it's my whole future on a plate."

"Law school?"

"So we got a deal or not?" Sam asked.

"Fine. I'll have you back by Monday."

* * *

"So tell me about Jessica," Dean said as they sped down the highway.

"What about her?"

"She's your soulmate and you got nothing to say?"

"I got plenty to say, I just don't see why you're so interested."

"Sam, I told you who your soulmate was before you even knew what a soulmate was. Just give me something."

"What do you want to know?" Sam asked. Sam had to admit, he was kind of surprised that Dean had asked about it. Growing up, talking about soulmates was pretty much off limits, and now Dean wanted to talk about it all of the sudden. It was just strange.

"Where'd you meet her?"

"At a party freshman year. Just sort of bumped into each other, and well it all just kind of went from there," Sam explained.

"So you're happy with her?"

"Of course I'm happy with her. She's my soulmate."

"Hey, I don't go through this whole process, remember? I just want to make sure that you're doing alright."

"I remember. It's just you never wanted to talk about this stuff when we were growing up."

Dean shrugged, but didn't say anything.

"So what about you? What have you been up to?"

"Just hunting."

"Just hunting?"

"Yeah, Sam. Just hunting. You want me to spell it out for you?" Dean asked.

"Well, it's just…"

"Just what, Sammy?"

"It's just that all through high school you were always with some girl or something. Are you still doing that?" Sam asked hesitantly.

"I guess. Here's the thing. There's some chicks that don't give a damn about if you got a name or not. They just wanna get laid and it's not like I'm ever going to have a soulmate, so why not?"

"I guess."

"Look, Sammy. I'm not saying that it wouldn't be nice to actually have a name, but after twenty-six years, you just kinda get used to it."

"Whatever you say, Dean."

* * *

"So this is where Constance took the swan dive?" Dean asked, as they walked across the bridge.

"So you think dad would've been here?"

"Well he's chasing the same story and we're chasing him."

"Ok. So now what?" Sam asked.

"Now we keep digging until we find him."

"Dean, I told you, I gotta get back by—"

"Monday. Right, the interview."

"Yeah," Sam said.

"Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer, marry your soulmate?"

"Maybe," Sam said. "Why not?"

"Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean does she know about the things you've done?"

"No and she's not ever going to know."

"Well that's healthy. You've known this girl for the last few years. She's your soulmate. And you haven't told her about what you've done."

"I don't want to scare her off."

"So you're just going to keep lying to her?"

"It's not lying, it's…"

"It's what, Sam? Not telling the truth? Not being totally honest? Call me crazy but that's the same thing as lying."

Sam was silent. He knew Dean had a point and that he probably should tell Jess. She was his soulmate after all, but still, the thought of telling anyone of what he had done terrified him.

"You can pretend all you want Sammy, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face up to who you really are."

"And who's that?" Sam asked.

"One of us."

"No," Sam said defiantly. "I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life."

"You have a responsibility—"

"To dad? And his crusade? If it wasn't for pictures, I wouldn't even know what mom looks like. What difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back."

Dean didn't think twice about slamming Sam into the bridge. "Don't talk about her like that. Sam?"

Dean looked in the same direction as Sam and saw Constance standing by the bridge.

"Where'd she go?" Dean asked.

"I don't know."

All of the sudden, Sam and Dean heard the impala start up.

"What the-?"

"Who's driving your car?" Sam asked.

Dean dug into his pocket and fished out his keys to show Sam. The impala started moving toward them and the two boys ran for it.

* * *

The hunt didn't end up being too bad. They had been able to take care of the woman in white, but the two brothers hadn't found any trace of their dad except his abandoned motel room and his journal.

"Ok," Sam said as he checked the coordinates from his dad's journal against the map one final time to make sure he got it right. "It's called Black Water Ridge, Colorado."

"Sounds charming. How far?"

"About six hundred miles."

"If we shag ass, we can make it there by morning."

"Dean. I, uh…"

"You're not going?" Dean asked, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"The interview's in like ten hours. I gotta be there."

"Yeah. Yeah, whatever. I'll take you home," Dean said. He just wished that just once Sam would see things differently. Dean didn't just want to find their dad, he _had _to find their dad.

"Call me if you find him. Maybe I can meet up with you later?" Sam asked getting out of the car.

"Yeah. Alright," Dean said, knowing that meeting up with Sam would never happen. "Sam? You know we made a hell of a team back there."

Sam nodded. "Yeah," he said, before turning around and walking into his apartment.

Dean watched him and once he knew Sam was inside, Dean took off down the road. Saying Dean was frustrated was an understatement. Dean got that Sam had found his soulmate and that he had stuff to do with that, but it's like Sam didn't really care. He didn't get that their dad was all Dean had. He was never going to have a soulmate, never going to have a chance at a normal life. Dean had done everything in his power to ensure that Sam at least got a chance to have a somewhat normal life, but none of that seemed to matter. The one time, the only time, Dean had asked Sam for something, Sam had said no.

Regardless of his feelings of frustration, Dean still couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right. He wasn't sure what, but something wasn't right. Making a quick decision, he did a U-turn and headed back toward Stanford, just so he could put his mind at ease that Sam was ok.

As he got closer to Stanford, Dean's feeling that something just wasn't right got stronger. When he was about a block away from Sam's apartment, he started to see smoke. Quickly, he put the car in park and ran inside. _No, no, no. This couldn't be happening_, Dean thought as he ran through the apartment trying to find his brother. _I'm not going to lose Sam, too._

That's when he saw his brother, laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling where Jessica was pinned and burning. Without a second thought, Dean rushed over and grabbed Sam and pushed him out of the room, ignoring Sam's calls for Jess and his attempts to get back in the room to try and save her. Somehow Dean had managed to get Sam outside, even though he had to use all of his strength to keep Sam from running back in the house in an attempt to save his soulmate.

Finally, the fire department arrived and got the fire under control. After what felt like an eternity, a firefighter came over to deliver the news that they had not been able to save Jess.

Dean wasn't quick enough and Sam's knees buckled and he dropped to the ground.

Dean crouched down next to his brother, "Come on, Sammy. You're gonna get through this."

"How do you know that? You have no idea what I'm trying to deal with!"

"I know, but I do know that you are going to get through this. We're gonna figure this out," Dean said calmly.

"Figure what out? Jess is dead! My soulmate is gone!" Sam yelled.

Dean was silent for a moment, before he took a deep breath and said, "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But, we're gonna get you through this. I promise."

Sam sat on the ground for a few more minutes, holding his head in his hands. Eventually, Sam got up and walked over to the impala. "Come on, Dean. We got work to do."

* * *

It had been two weeks since the fire and Dean was still worrying about Sam. Sam had done his best to appear normal and fine, but Dean wasn't buying it.

"How are you doing, Sammy?"

"Just fine."

"No, you're not."

"And how would you know that?" Sam retaliated.

"You just lost your soulmate. Now, I don't know how that feels, but I can't imagine that it feels good or that you are fine. It's only been what? Two week?"

"Dean, I'm fine," Sam repeated, hoping that Dean would just drop it.

"Just cut the crap, Sam!"

"What do you want me to say?"

"How about the truth?"

"Fine. I'm not ok. Yeah, I just lost my soulmate. It's not like I have another one. Jess was it. The one person for me and now she's gone. So yeah, maybe I'm not doing ok, but I'm handling it."

"Look, Sam. I get you're handling it, or whatever. But, it's not like any other death we've seen."

"You think I don't realize that?"

"I'm just saying that—"

"That what? Dean, I'm dealing with this, ok? Just trust me."

Dean took a deep breath. This is not how he had wanted this conversation to go, but he realized that Sam was going to just deal with it in whatever way Sam dealt with it. "Ok. Just let me know if you need anything. I may not have lost a soulmate, but I got plenty of experience with not having one."

Sam nodded, but said nothing else.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I meant to get this up sooner, but this chapter turned out to be way more difficult to write than I thought. Thank you for being patient. On the bright side, it should be extremely obvious after reading this chapter when Cas is coming in. Also, I'm sorry if the formatting is weird. Somehow the formatting of my word document got messed up beyond all belief. I'm going to have the next chapter up as soon as I can. I know I say it every time, but thank you guys so much for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites. This story has just become my most reviewed story and I'm really, really happy about that. So thank you again. Please enjoy the chapter, and let me know what you think.

* * *

After trying to get Sam to talk about losing Jessica that one time, Dean had dropped it. Sam hadn't been himself since Jess died, but who could blame him. As much as Dean wanted to talk to Sam about everything and make sure he was ok, Dean knew he just had to give his brother space. Sam would talk to him if he needed help.

Finally a few days after Dean had tried unsuccessfully to talk to Sam, Sam decided he wanted to talk to Dean.

"How do you do it?" Sam asked as they sped down the highway in the Impala.

"Do what?"

"Live without a soulmate?"

Dean took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to answer. "I don't know. It's different for me I guess. Like I've never had someone, so it's just kinda normal for me."

"So that's what's going to happen? It's just going to be normal for me?"

"I don't know, Sammy. I mean people lose their soulmates all the time. You can't really do anything about it. Or you could just be like me who never had one to begin with. It's not something you can change, but you just gotta keep thinking on the positive side of things."

"What could possibly be the positive side of losing Jess?" Sam asked.

"Well for one, you are still alive and I'm sure Jess would've wanted you to be happy. So focus on that. Just finding something that makes you happy."

"Is that what you do?"

"I guess," Dean said after a moment. "Like I said, I don't really know what it's like to lose someone like that, but you just keep going. I like hunting. I'm good at it, so I just focus on that."

"Yeah, I guess," Sammy mumbled.

"Hey, you're gonna get through this. It'll all work out."

Sam didn't say much after that. He just let Dean continue driving on their way to their next hunt.

* * *

Life hadn't been easy after leaving California with Sam. First there was all the spirits and monsters. Then Sam started having psychic visions. And if all of that wasn't bad enough, when Sam and Dean had actually found their Dad, he had died not too long after that. Dean just wanted a break from all of the death and misery. But, when had that ever been possible in Dean's life?

* * *

Some time later, Dean found himself staring at Sam's corpse as it lay on the bed. He had let his brother down. He had failed at the one thing he was supposed to do in life, protect his brother. He couldn't even do that right.

Staring at his brother did nothing but remind Dean of how much he had screwed up, but he couldn't stop staring at his brother. Bobby had been by to try and get Dean to make a decision about what to do with Sam's body, but Dean had just yelled at him saying that he wasn't ready yet.

"You know when we were little?" Dean asked as if Sam could actually respond. "You couldn't have been more than five, you just stated asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always move around? Where'd dad go? He'd take off for days at a time. I remember I begged you to quit asking Sammy. You didn't want to know. I just wanted you to be a kid just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you. Keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility you know? It was like I had one job. One job. And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. You know I let dad down. And now I guess I'm supposed to just let you down too. I guess that's maybe why I never got a name? Because I always let everyone I love down. You, Dad. God, Sam, I never wanted to let you down. How can I? Am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?!"

Without another thought, Dean grabbed the keys to his impala and ran out the door. Driving to the nearest crossroads, he parked his car and buried the box with everything he needed to summon the demon.

* * *

"Oh come on already. Show your face, you bitch!" Dean yelled in frustration. Every second he stood there waiting for the demon was another second his brother was still dead.

"Easy sugar, you'll wake the neighbors," a voice from behind Dean said. Dean spun around to look at the demon standing there. "Dean, the boy with no name. It's so, so good to see you."

"Shut up," Dean growled, glaring at the demon.

"Well it's no secret. You're special, Dean. All alone in the world. Always will be. And now look at this. You've gone and got your family killed. Excuse me, you're gonna have to give me a moment. Sometimes, you gotta stop and smell the roses."

"I should send you straight back to hell," Dean spat.

"Oh, you should. But you won't. And I know why."

"Oh yeah?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Following in Daddy's footsteps. You wanna make a deal. Little Sammy back from the dead, and let me guess, you're offering up your own soul?"

"There are a hundred other demons who'd love to get their hands on it. And it's all yours. And all you got to do is bring Sam back. And give me ten years. Ten years, and then you come for me," Dean said, praying that the demon would just accept the deal.

"You must be joking."

"That's the same deal you give everybody else," Dean said trying not to panic. What if she wasn't going to give him the deal? He had to get his brother back, no matter what it took.

"You're not everybody else. Why would I want to give you anything? Keep your gutter soul. It's too tarnished, anyway," the demon said.

"Nine years."

"No."

"Eight."

"You keep going and I'll keep saying no."

"Okay, five years. Five years, and my bill comes due. That's my last offer. Five years or no deal." _Please just take the deal and let me have Sam back,_ Dean thought to himself. _Please_.

"Then no deal," the demon said simply.

"Fine."

"Fine," the demon said, turning to walk away. "Make sure you bury Sam before he starts stinking up the joint."

"Wait," Dean said after a second.

"It's a fire sale, and everything must go."

"What do I have to do?" Dean asked.

"First of all, quit groveling. Needy guys are such a turnoff. Look. Look I shouldn't be doing thing. I could get in a lot of trouble. But what can I say? I got a blind spot for you, Dean. You're like a puppy. You're just too fun to play with. I'll do it."

"You'll bring him back?" Dean asked, wanting to confirm his deal.

"I will. And because I'm such a saint, I'll give you one year. And one year only. But here's the thing. I f you try and welch or weasel your way out, then the deal is off. Sam drops dead. He's back to rotten meat in no time. So? It's a better deal than your dad ever got. What do you say?"

Dean grabbed the demon, pulled her close, and kissed her, sealing the deal.

* * *

Dean walked back into the house and swallowed hard. His brother was alive, standing right there in front of him. Dean quickly walked over to Sam and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"Ow. Uh, Dean," Sam said, bring Dean back into reality.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. I'm just—I'm just happy to see you up and around, that's all. Come on. Sit down," Dean said.

"Okay. Dean, what happened to me?" Sam asked.

"Well, what do you remember?" Dean asked, hoping to not have to explain to his brother that he had just made a deal with a demon because he couldn't bear the thought of spending the rest of his life without his brother.

"I saw you and Bobby, and—I felt this pain. The sharp pain, like—like white hot, you know? And then you started running at me and that's about it."

"Yeah that—that kid stabbed you in the back. You lost a lot of blood. It was pretty touch and go for awhile," Dean explained, hoping his brother would believe the lie.

"But Dean, you can't patch up a wound that bad."

"No, Bobby could, who was that kid, anyway?"

"His name's Jake. Did you get him?"

"No, he disappeared into the woods."

"We got to find him, Dean. And I swear I'm gonna tear that son of a bitch apart."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy there, Van Damme. You just woke up, all right? Let's get you something to eat. Huh? You want something to eat? I'm starving. Come on."

* * *

Dean and Sam got something to eat before heading to Bobby's house. Needless to say, Bobby was suspicious from the second he saw Sam standing on his doorstep. And why wouldn't he be? It had been just a day ago when Sam had been lying dead on that bed. Bobby put Sam to work on trying to figure out why demons were surrounding southern Wyoming and got Dean to go out to the yard with him.

"You stupid ass!" Bobby yelled, facing Dean when they had gotten far enough away from the house. "What did you do? What did you do?!"

When Dean didn't answer, Bobby started connecting the dots in his head. "You made a deal. For Sam didn't you?" Dean was still silent. "How long did they give you?"

"Bobby—"

"How long?!"

"One year," Dean admitted.

"Damn it, Dean."

"Which is why we gotta find this yellow-eyed son of a bitch. That's why I'm gonna kill him myself. I got nothing to lose now, right?"

"I could throttle you!" Bobby said angrily, yanking Dean by the collar.

"And send me downstairs ahead of schedule?"

"What is it with you Winchesters, huh? You, your dad. You're both just itching to throw yourselves down the pit."

"That's my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? It like my life could mean something."

"What? And it didn't before?! Have you got that low of an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?!"

"That's not the point, Bobby."

"Then what is the point?! There are plenty of people here who care about you. Hell, remember when you and your brother first came by here?"

_Dean quietly stood around the corner listening to his father and Bobby talk in the kitchen._

_"I think it shouldn't take too long. I should be back in a week," John told Bobby._

"_And you're just going to leave your boys here?"_

"_I can't take them with me."_

"Don't you think you should take care of your boys?"

"I am. By making the world safe for them," John responded.

"_Bu your sons need you now."_

"They're just fine."

"No, they're not. They're both hurting and you keep ignoring it."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" John asked angrily.

"_It means that maybe you should send time more time with your boys than you do on hunting," Bobby suggested. "It's not secret that Dean needs help."_

"_Dean's just fine," John insisted._

"_Really? So you don't see the way he does everything for his brother and never once asks for anything for himself? Then there's the way he stares at the wrist of every person he meets."_

"So he's different. He's going to have to get used to it. There hasn't been a change in his wrist since he was born. It's probably never going to change. He has to accept that and get over it."

"_Yeah, but shouldn't you be helping with that? I don't care what his wrist says but everyone else does and it's obvious that your boy is struggling. Why don't you just be their father?"_

"_I am their father!" John yelled._

_When Dean heard John yelling, he ran upstairs. He didn't want to hear anymore. His dad was right, he just needed to get over it._

"_Now look what you did," Bobby said angrily. "Go talk to your son."_

_Instead of going to comfort Dean, John stalked out of the kitchen and out to his car to leave for his hunt. Bobby sighed promising that one day he would kick John Winchesters' ass._

"I couldn't let him die, Bobby. I couldn't. He's my brother," Dean explained, tearing up a little.

"How's your brother gonna feel when he knows you're going to hell? How'd you feel when you knew your dad went for you?"

"You can't tell him," Dean said seriously. "You can take a shot at me. Whatever you got to do, but please don't tell him."

Before either man could say anything else, they heard a loud noise from somewhere in the yard. Dean and Bobby immediately crawled over to the side of a car to take car of whatever was sneaking around Bobby's junkyard. Thankfully it was Ellen and not a demon or anything supernatural.

* * *

Ellen helped Bobby, Sam, and Dean with their upcoming fight. They had opened the door to hell and let hundreds of demons loose on earth, but the yellow-eyed demon was dead. But it didn't change the fact that Dean was still going to die in a year. And now Sammy knew about it, and needless to say, he was not happy.

"You shouldn't have done that. How could you do that?" Sam asked, after Dean admitted he only had one year left.

"Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job."

"And what do you think my job is?"

"What?"

"You've saved my life over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don't' you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't' do for you. And I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change."

"Yeah," Dean said, not wanting to tell Sam what would happen if Dean tried to get out of his deal.

* * *

Over the next year, Sam did what he could, but there was no escaping it. Dean was going to die. Hell, Dean didn't want to die, but what was done was done and at least Sammy was alive now.

"You seem awfully quiet," Dean commented as they drove down the road to their next hunt.

Sam just shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

"No, seriously, man. What's up with you?"

"What am I supposed to do?" Sam asked.

"Huh?"

"You're going to be gone in a few months. You can't just ignore that."

"I'm not ignoring it. I'm just trying not to think about it."

"I can't _stop_ thinking about it, Dean. You're going to be gone. Jess is already gone. Dad is gone. What am I supposed to do?"

"You'll figure it out, Sammy. It's going to be alright," Dean replied calmly.

"So you're alright with going to hell?"

"I never said that. But, if that's what it takes to keep you alive—"

"That's all it is? Keeping me alive. Did it ever occur to you that I might not want to die for me?"

"Sam—" Dean began, but Sam cut him off again.

"Dean, I just don't want you to die. I don't want to be alone."

"You're not going to be alone. You're still going to have Bobby."

"But Bobby's not you. Bobby's not Jess."

"He's as close as we got to family. He's gonna help you get through this," Dean promised. "You'll be alright." Dean silently hoped that he was right.

The clock stroke midnight and the hellhounds attacked. Sam clung to Dean's lifeless body while Dean's soul was dragged down into hell.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: A few things. Thank you for being so patient. I just had my last final today so now I'm done for the summer and updates should be more frequent. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and favorited and put it on alert. I know I say this every time, but thank you so, so much. The reviews make my day! Lastly, there's a few notes on at the end so I can explain how things are going to work after this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Dean quickly became aware that he was trapped. "Help!" he yelled hoarsely, but it didn't seem to help. He pounded on the wood above him, hoping to push his way out. The wood eventually broke and he was covered in dirt. Slowly, Dean managed to pull himself out of the pile of dirt and onto solid ground. He stood up and took in his surroundings. He's standing in a field where it looks as if a bomb went off.

Dean started walking, hoping to find a town or anything where he can get help. He came across a gas station, get some water and food. He spotted a newspaper and does the math in his head. It'd been three months since the hellhounds came and he was dragged into Hell. He saw a sink in the corner and washes his face. Curiously, he pulled up his shirt, expecting to see his chest and stomach completely covered in scars. Instead, everything was fine. There were no scratches or scars or anything. Unsure what possessed him to do it, Dean pulled up his shirtsleeve and was shocked to find a handprint.

As he took money out of the register, the TV turned on. Dean turned around and turned it off, staring at it for a moment. Just then, the radio turned on. Dean immediately ran to the shelves, grabbed some salt, and started pouring it along the windowsill. He wasn't sure what was coming, but it couldn't be good. Dean heard a high-pitched tone and immediately tried to cover one ear while continuing to pour salt. The sound continued and Dean crouched to the floor, covering both ears. The glass in the window above his head shattered, along with all of the other glass in the small building. The noise stopped and Dean looked around, trying to find some explanation for what just happened. Finding nothing, Dean headed outside to try and call Sam.

It turned out that Sam's number had been disconnected, so Dean tried option number two. Bobby seemed to believe that Dean was just playing some sick joke on him and threatened to kill Dean if he called again. Realizing he had no other option, Dean hotwired a car so he could drive to South Dakota to talk to Bobby and hopefully find Sam.

It took some convincing, but Bobby finally believed that Dean was really there, after Bobby splashing Dean with holy water and Dean cutting himself with a silver knife. Dean asked what happened to Sam and Bobby explained that he hadn't seen Sam much since Dean had died.

Sam was alive and that was all Dean needed to hear before tracing Sam's phone to Pontiac Illinois.

* * *

Dean knocked on the hotel room door. A young woman answered.

"So where is it?"

"Where's what?" Dean asked, confused.

"The pizza," the woman said as though it were obvious. "That takes two guys to deliver?"

"I think we got the wrong room," Dean said.

At that moment, Sam came over. "Hey is—" He stopped talking as soon as he saw Dean.

"Heya, Sammy."

Sam remained silent for a moment before lunging at Dean with a knife. Dean blocked Sam and Bobby pulled him off.

"Who are you?" Sam shouted.

"Like you didn't do this?"

"Do what?"

"It's him," Bobby said trying to calm Sam down. "It's him. I've been through this already. It's really him."

Sam slowly stopped struggling. "What?"

Bobby let go of Sam. Sam took a few steps toward Dean and pulled him into a huge hug. His brother was back.

"So are you to like together?" the woman asked confused.

Sam, just remembering that she was still there. "What? No. No. He's my brother."

"Uh got it. I guess. Look, I should probably go."

"Yeah. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Sorry," the woman said before gathering her stuff and leaving.

"So tell me, what'd it cost?" Dean asked when the woman was finally gone.

"The girl? I don't pay, Dean."

"That's not funny, Sam. To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it your soul or was it something worse?"

"You think I made a deal?" Sam asked.

"That's exactly what we think," Bobby informed him.

"Well, I didn't."

"Don't lie to me," Dean said.

"I'm not lying."

"So what now, I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch-boy? I didn't want to be saved like this."

"Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, all right?"

"There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!"

"I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize. I believe you."

"Don't get me wrong," Bobby said, rejoining the conversation, "I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question."

"If he didn't pull me out, then what did?" Dean finished.

* * *

Later, Sam had explained how after he realized that he couldn't save Dean, he went after Lilith. Both Dean and Bobby thought it was stupid that Sam decided to go all by himself. But that was in the past for now. What was more important was that Dean find out what pulled him out of Hell and why.

* * *

That's how the boys and Bobby found themselves seated around a table with one of the best psychics in the state. Pamela had set up everything for a séance so they could hopefully get closer to solving their mystery.

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle. I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear to be before this circle. I invoke, conjure, and command…Castiel? No sorry, Castiel, I don't scare easy."

"Castiel?" Dean asked. He knew that name. How did he know that name?

"Its name," Pamela explained. "It's whispering to me, warning me to turn back. I conjure and command you, show me your face. I conjure and command you, show me your face. I conjure and command you, show me your face. I conjure and command you, show me your face."

The noise became louder and Bobby suggested that they should stop.

"I almost got it," Pamela said, determined to keep going. "I command you, show me your face. Show me your face now!"

Suddenly, Pamela began to scream and here eyes were filled with a white hot flame. She collapsed on the floor and the noises died.

Sam scrambled out of his chair to call for help. Dean was crouched near Bobby and Pamela doing what he could to help, but still wondering why the name Castiel sounded so familiar. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew he should know that name from somewhere.

* * *

Dean and Bobby stood in the warehouse, protected by every symbol they knew. They had guns and knives ready just in case as they still had no idea what they were dealing with. They had planned to summon whatever it was to the barn, despite what had happened to Pamela when she saw it. Dean just had to know, not only what had pulled him out, but why he had been saved. Why him of all people?

"You sure you did the ritual right?" Dean asked.

Bobby glared at Dean.

"Sorry. Touchy, touchy, huh?"

Just then, a loud rattling shook the roof of the warehouse. Dean and Bobby stood up and grabbed their shotguns.

"Wishful thinking, but maybe it's just the wind," Dean suggested.

The door opened and a dark haired, blue eyed man wearing a business suit and trench coat walked in. The light on the ceiling shattered into sparks. Both Dean and Bobby fired their guns, but it was no use. The bullets didn't even slow down the man.

"Who are you?" Dean asked.

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," the man replied in a deep voice. Dean, meanwhile, started to feel a slight twinge in his wrist. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Dean to actually notice it.

"Yeah, thanks for that," Dean said, grabbing the knife and stabbing the man in the chest. The man didn't even wince. Instead, the man looked down and pulled the knife out and dropped it to the floor. The man then spun Bobby around and pressed two fingers to Bobby's forehead. Bobby fell to a heap on the floor.

"We need to talk, Dean," the man said. "Alone."

Dean crouched down by Bobby and checked to make sure he still had a pulse.

"Your friend's alive," the man said.

"Who are you?" Dean asked again, noticing that the twinge in his wrist started to hurt more and more with every second.

"Castiel," the man replied simply.

"Yeah, I figured that much. I mean _what_ are you?"

"I'm an Angel of the Lord."

"Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing," Dean said angrily, grabbing on to his wrist and rubbing it hoping to make the pain go away.

"This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith."

There was a flash of lightning and Dean looked up and could see two large shadows of what appeared to be wings.

"Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be… overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that."

"You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?" Castiel simply nodded. "Buddy next time, lower the volume."

"That was my mistake. Certain people, special people can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong."

"And what visage are you in now, huh? What, holy tax accountant?"

"This?" Castiel asked. "This is a vessel."

"You're possessing some poor bastard?"

"He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this."

"Well, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?"

Castiel frowned. "I told you."

"Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?"

"Good things do happen, Dean."

"Not in my experience," Dean responded.

"What's the matter? You don't think you deserved to be saved?"

"Why'd you do it?"

"Because God commanded it."

* * *

Dean still wasn't able to completely wrap his head around the fact that this so called angel had pulled him out of Hell. Even after talking with Sam and Bobby, it didn't make any sense. And then there was the pain he felt in his wrist. Castiel had tried to explain it all, but still, nothing was making a whole lot of sense.

Castiel had told Dean that God had commanded that Dean be pulled from Hell, but why? Why after 30 years did God finally decide that Dean needed to be pulled from Hell?

* * *

"Hey, man," Sam said walking into the motel room with dinner. "I got dinner."

"Good. I'm starving," Dean said walking over to the table and taking his food.

"Anything new on the angel front?" Sam asked.

"Nope. Apparently that so called angel just had to yank me out of Hell and now its gone," Dean said wit a full mouth.

"It's still weird though. Why are angels helping you?"

"I don't know. It was weird. First, the whole angel thing. Then the pain in my wrist. I just really don't get any of it," Dean said.

"Pain in your wrist?" Sam asked, turning to face his brohter. "You never mentioned that.

"Yeah, I don't know. Just felt this sharp twinge in my wrist. Why?"

"Nothing," Sam answered quickly.

"No seriously if you got anything, I'd love to hear it."

"It's nothing," Sam promised.

"Whatever."

The truth was it wasn't nothing. If Sam was right, Dean was dealing with soulmate stuff. He remembered when he had first met Jessica and he had felt the sharp twinge in his wrist as they started talking. But it had been obvious for him and Jess. They had each other's names on their wrists. But Dean was different. He never had a name, but apparently he still felt the sharp twinge. Maybe Dean didn't even know what that meant. He had never told Sam about it and Dean was the one to explain all of that stuff to Sam seeing as their father was never home. But that still doesn't explain why Dean felt the twinge. Obviously it couldn't have been the vessel because the vessel would have its own soulmate and Dean would have just had the vessel's name. So was Dean's soulmate this angel? That made even less sense. Maybe Sam was just thinking too much into it.

The rest of the meal passed in silence as both men were left to their own thoughts.

* * *

A/N (part 2)

If you noticed, Dean was only in Hell for three months, meaning Cas would have gotten to him before he would have had a chance to torture and thus break the first seal. To get everything I want to do accomplished in this story, it would have had to become AU at some point before season 8 and I figured this is where things are going to work out the best. Also, since it's AU from this point, that means no more chapters of mostly just regurgitation of canon plot. If there's any questions or confusion or anything, leave a review or send me a message. I look forward to hearing what you guys think seeing as this was the point pretty much everyone was waiting for. Thanks again for reading.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I just really want to say thank you for all the reviews. Seriously, I can't believe there's over 100. Anyway, we are completely done with following canon (and I'm probably just as excited as you about that) and I hope you guys enjoy the rest of the story. Here's the next chapter. Let me know what you think.

* * *

"Dean! Look out!" Sam yelled, diving behind a pile of boxes to protect himself.

Dean didn't hear Sam's warning in time, and the spirit slammed Dean into the wall on the other side of the room, before he fell to the floor in a heap.

"Dean! Dean!" Sam called.

Dean shook his head, trying to get the stars that were currently dancing around his vision to disappear. Dean also noticed a new throbbing pain in his shoulder, but that could wait. He clumsily pulled himself to his feet and looked around the room. He and Sam still hadn't been able to find the necklace that had originally belonged to the spirit that was currently terrifying the current occupants of the house, but

Dean stumbled forward to continue on his mission of finding the necklace and burning it to get rid of the spirit inhabiting the house.

Sam, Dean noticed, must have got the spirit with the shotgun, as Dean could no longer see it. The only problem was they didn't have much time. Soon, the spirit would be make, and angrier than before.

"Anything?" Dean asked.

"Nothing."

"Damn it," Dean muttered. His throbbing shoulder was not making it easy. Dean ignored the pain as best as he could, but it didn't go away completely.

Dean turned around to look through some more boxes. "Shit," Dean said, before being flung at a wall again by the spirit.

"Got it!" Sam yelled, holding up the necklace triumphantly. He quickly flipped open his lighter.

"Burn it!" Dean called back, hoping that Sam would work fast enough.

A few seconds later, Dean smelled smoke. The necklace was lying on the floor on fire, and the spirit had disappeared completely.

Dean leaned his head back against the wall and breathed a deep sigh of relief. Now that the spirit was gone, he was actually able to focus on himself and realize how much pain he was truly in. His shoulder ached, he was pretty sure he had bruised a few ribs, and that's not to mention all of the other bruises that were sure to pop up. Sure, it wasn't the worst pain Dean had ever experienced. Not by a long shot. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Sam rushed over to help Dean up. Dean kept the arm of his injured shoulder close to his body, while allowing Sam to pull him up using his other arm. Dean groaned as he stood up.

"You ok, man?" Sam asked.

"Just peachy," Dean replied. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

When they got outside to the car, Dean heard a whoosh from behind him. Turning around, he found himself face to face with Castiel.

"Castiel?" Dean asked, confused.

"Yes," Castiel responded before putting two fingers to Dean's forehead.

Immediately, Dean felt better. He moved his arm around to test his injured shoulder and was surprised to find that he didn't feel anymore pain.

"Dude, what the hell?" Dean asked, still examining his body. What had just happened?

"You were hurt," Castiel responded simply.

"And what? You touch someone and they're healed?"

"Yes. I am an angel of the Lord."

"And an angel of the Lord wants to heal me why?" Dean asked skeptically. He still wasn't quite sure how he felt about angels. Was it great that they had pulled him out of hell? Yes, but that didn't mean he was going to immediately start trusting angels, even if something did feel different about Castiel.

"You were hurt," Castiel said again.

"I've been hurt plenty of times before and no angels have done a damn thing. So has Sam."

"You do not have to worry now. You are safe now," Castiel said before disappearing.

Dean stared at the spot where Castiel vanished. "What the hell does that mean?"

* * *

"Castiel, I appreciate everything you've been doing, but why are you still here?" Dean asked the angel after he came and healed Dean again.

"You needed help," Castiel responded simply.

"Yeah, I realize that. I thought you just had to pull me out of hell. Why are you sticking around?"

"Because you need help."

"Look, no offense, but I'm with Sammy and we got this."

"You were almost killed," Castiel said. If Dean had been paying more attention, he may have noticed the hint of worry in Castiel's voice. It wasn't strong, but it was still there.

"But I wasn't and it's part of the job," Dean said. He was used to it by now. After living as a hunter for his entire life, he was completely aware of the risks of what he was doing.

"I could help," Castiel suggested.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked, staring at Castiel like he was crazy. What help could an angel possibly be to a pair of hunters?

"I could watch over you."

"Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. I'll be fine."

"Dean. You need to be more careful."

"I'll be fine. You can focus on your stuff in heaven or whatever it is you do," Dean said, not admitting that he had liked having Castiel come after the hunt. It gave Dean a sense of security, something he had never really had before.

* * *

Even after the talk with Dean, Castiel continued to show up to assist Dean. However, Dean became more open to the idea of Castiel helping him and Sam, at least after the hunts. And it didn't hurt that Castiel always fully healed Dean before he left.

"Castiel? A little help here?" Dean asked applying pressure to a large gash in his head that was still producing a large amount of blood. He didn't even have to look around to know that Castiel was going to be there to help him.

Not even ten seconds later, Castiel placed two fingers on Dean's forehead, curing all of his wounds.

"Thanks for that."

"You are welcome."

* * *

Dean wasn't even out of the woods yet before he started yelling for Castiel. Now days, Castiel didn't just show up. Dean would always call him, before Castiel would even get a chance to just show up. And every time, Castiel would come and heal Dean.

Sam didn't mind, but there were a few times he had asked for Castiel's help. If the wounds were minor, Sam didn't usually say anything. Even if Dean didn't notice it, Sam definitely realized very early on that Castiel was coming for Dean and not for him.

* * *

"You know, Sammy," Dean said, as the two brothers sat in a local diner eating dinner after a hunt one night, "it is really nice having an angel around."

Sam just looked amused.

"Ok, what's that look for?" Dean asked.

"Nothing."

"Bullshit."

"Maybe," Sam admitted.

"You gonna tell me or not?"

"You don't notice it, do you?" Sam asked.

"Notice what?"

"Castiel comes for you."

"Yeah, I thought we already knew that, captain obvious."

"No, Castiel comes for you. Not for us. For you," Sam explained, trying to make it very clear what he was thinking.

"He heals you too," Dean defended.

"When the pain is bad enough and I ask for help, yes. But otherwise, he comes for you, heals you, and then leaves."

"What's your point?"

"You don't think that's weird?" Sam asked, incredulously.

"Do I think it's weird that an angel pulled me out of hell and is now healing me after hunts? Of course, but…." Dean trailed off.

"But what?" Sam prompted.

_But I like having him around_, Dean answered in his head. "But it's not like it's a bad thing."

"I get that, but you seriously don't see anything even a little strange that Castiel comes only for you?"

"What? Are you jealous, Sammy?"

"No, I'm not jealous. I just think it's weird," _and that there is something else going on here_, Sam added mentally.

"Whatever," Dean said, shaking his head. "Finish your plants and we'll go back to the room."

* * *

Castiel had just healed Dean like he always did. This time was different.

"Castiel, stick around for a while," Dean suggested.

Castiel looked puzzled.

Dean noticed the look on Castiel's face. "It's ok. If you don't want to stay, you don't have to. I was just thinking that, you know, you always come and go so quickly. And maybe for once you'd like to stay longer and hang out with us for a while," Dean rambled nervously. Why did he feel so nervous? He was never this nervous when he called Castiel to come and heal him.

"I will stay," Castiel responded.

* * *

Meanwhile, in heaven, Michael and Raphael were discussing what to do about the current situation.

"Are you positive that Castiel does not know of this?" Michael asked.

"Yes."

"But yet he continues to spend more and more time with the human."

"Yes, but I can assure you that he does not know of what is written," Raphael assured him.

"And it must remain that way," Michael emphasized. "Castiel must not know that he is the angel that will join with a human."

"And the other angels?" Raphael asked.

"Are to not know of this as well," Michael answered.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I don't have much to say except thank you again for all of your reviews, favorites, and alerts. Here's the next chapter. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!

* * *

"Anything special?" Sam asked, opening the door of the motel room.

"Pie!" Dean called back.

Sam rolled his eyes, walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Dean stepped out of the bathroom and stared at the door for a few seconds, making sure that Sam wasn't coming back because he forgot something. It's not that Dean was embarrassed, but more that he didn't want Sam to get any more ideas than he already had.

"Castiel?" Dean asked.

A second later, Dean heard a rustle of wings. "Hello, Dean."

Dean spun around and came face to face with Castiel. Dean tried, but was unable to keep the smile from spreading on his face.

"Where is Sam?" Castiel asked, glancing around the room and noticing that Sam was not there.

"Out getting food," Dean responded simply, still staring at Castiel. Even after all of these months, Dean couldn't believe that this was the person who pulled him out of hell. And more than that, Castiel was still sticking around. Although Dean wasn't sure if he was staying because Dean kept calling him or because he wanted to stay. It didn't really matter though. What was important was that Castiel was still there.

"You can sit down," Dean said, sitting down on his own bed. Castiel sat down on Sam's bed, staring at Dean.

"Are you hunting?" Castiel asked.

Dean chuckled.

Meanwhile, Castiel looked confused. "I do not understand what's funny?"

"Nothing," Dean said. "It's just that the only times that I haven't been hunting are before my mom died and then when I was in hell. It never stops."

"You could stop hunting. It would be safer."

Dean shrugged. "Someone's gotta do it. And besides it's something I'm good at."

"What are you hunting?" Castiel asked.

"Just a spirit. Nothing major," Dean said nonchalantly.

"You need to be careful," Castiel said.

"I'm always careful," Dean insisted. "Sometimes ghosts are more powerful than me. I can't really do anything about it."

Castiel didn't respond to Dean's statement, although Dean knew that Castiel still thought that he should be more careful.

"Can I ask you something?" Dean asked after a moment. There was something that had been bugging him for awhile now.

"Of course."

"What do you do when you're not here?"

"I serve God."

"You've said that before, but what does that even mean?" Dean asked.

"I carry out God's orders. I was created to do what God commanded."

"So what, that's all you do is follow orders?"

"Yes. I was told to watch over a dying girl's family and I did. I was told to rescue you from Hell, and I did," Castiel explained.

Dean remained silent, thinking about what Castiel had just told him. Dean's phone started ringing, pulling him from his thoughts. Castiel reached over, grabbed the phone on the nightstand, and handed it over to Dean.

As Castiel handed the phone over, Dean noticed something that he hadn't seen before. Squinting, Dean looked at Castiel's wrist and realization hit him.

Dean stared at Castiel's wrist. "What is that?" Dean asked, the ringing phone completely forgotten.

"What is what?" Castiel questioned. The phone stopped ringing as the voicemail picked up.

Dean reached over, grabbed Castiel's wrist and held it up. "That?"

"It is the wrist of my vessel."

"Your vessel? You're just possessing some poor bastard?"

"Dean, we have already discussed this," Castiel reasoned.

"Yeah, well I was a little preoccupied since an angel was telling me that they yanked me out of hell," Dean said angrily.

Castiel did not know how to respond and remained quiet. Dean stood up and started pacing.

"Seriously? You are possessing some dude?"

"Yes, like I have already told you, he was a devout man and prayed for this."

Dean stopped pacing and faced Castiel. "And that makes it ok to take him from his family?"

"Dean, it is—"

"I don't care what you have to say. You can leave," Dean said, pointing toward the motel room door.

Castiel didn't make any indication that he was going to move.

"Now!" Dean yelled with more force.

Castiel stared at Dean for another second before disappearing.

Once Castiel was gone, Dean shoulders sunk as he let out a long breath. He sat down on one of the motel beds and put his head in his hands, replaying the scene in his head.

Dean didn't want Castiel to leave, in fact, Dean felt completely alone no that Castiel was gone. But, that didn't change things. Castiel was keeping someone away from their soulmate, and Dean just couldn't have that. So what if he couldn't be happy, at least someone else should.

* * *

"Where's Castiel?" Sam said, picking himself off the ground after a run in with an evil spirit later that night.

"Not coming," Dean grunted, looking for something to use to pull himself up. Finding nothing, Dean placed both of his hands on the ground and used his own strength to pull himself up.

"What do you mean he's not coming? He always comes," Sam said confused.

"Not anymore," Dean responded briefly, hoping that Sam would just drop it. He missed Castiel and really wished he was there, but Dean made his decision and so far it looked like Castiel was going to honor that decision.

Dean walked over to the Impala that was parked a few hundred feet away, near the cemetery's entrance.

"Why don't you just call him?" Sam asked following his brother to the car.

"Because he won't come."

"What?" Now Sam was even more confused. "What the hell happened?"

"Don't worry about it, Sam."

"But—"

"Drop it," Dean snaped.

Sam shut his mouth. He threw the shovel in the trunk and got into the passenger side. Dean turned on the car, stepped on the gas, and sped away from the cemetery.

* * *

Dean and Sam walked into the motel room after a long, silent, and awkward drive back. Dean pulled off his jacket and threw it over one of the chairs before walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He pulled his shirt off and started to examine the damage. It had been awhile since he had had to do it himself. For the last few months, Castiel had been healing him before he even had a chance to see how bad things were. Gently prodding his skin where a bruise was starting to form, Dean started to wish Castiel were there. Once he realized what he was thinking, he forced himself to remember that this was his choice. He had told Castiel to leave, and he had to stick with that, no matter what happened.

Dean looked at himself in the mirror one more time before sighing and turning on the shower. He let the hot water roll down his body, hoping it would get rid of the pain. After ten minutes in the shower, his muscles felt a little more relaxed, but overall, he didn't feel much better. Dean turned off the shower, dried off, and got dressed.

Dean walked out of the bathroom and threw his clothes next to his duffle, figuring he could pack after Sam was done in the shower. Right now, he just wanted to rest. He sat down on his bed and leaned back against the headboard. Sam got up to go into the bathroom as Dean started flipping through the limited channels the motel offered.

Not even ten minutes later, Dean started to feel a twinge in his wrist. He grabbed it with the other hand and rubbed it, opening that feeling would go away. Unfortunately it didn't. But there wasn't really any pain so Dean just tried to push it out of his mind.

The feeling wouldn't go away and Dean started rubbing at his wrist again. Sam walked out of the bathroom and started shoving his clothes into his own duffel bag.

"When do you want to head out?" Sam asked.

Dean turned off the TV and sat up straighter, still rubbing at his wrist. "Just give me a minute."

Sam stared at his brother. "Something happen to your wrist?"

"Not sure. Just started feeling funny," Dean responded.

"Huh."

Ten minutes later, Dean and Sam checked out of their motel and began their drive to their next hunt.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: As always thank you so much. I really appreciate that so many of you take some time to leave a review. Anyway, I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter I've written for anything, so enjoy and let me know what you think!

* * *

The pain in Dean's wrist didn't go away the rest of the day. Dean just drove and didn't say anything to Sam. It wasn't a bad pain, and frankly, he had had much worse pain in his life. However, as the time went on, the pain gradually got worse as the day went on. But still, Dean could handle it. There was no need for Sam to know about it.

Luckily this new hunt wasn't too far from their previous hunt and the boys were able to get a start on the hunt almost immediately. This head start proved to be helpful,as it was nearing a full moon and that was the only time they were actually going to be able to take care of a werewolf.

Sam and Dean pulled into town and immediately went to go talk to their friend that had told them about the problem. It looked simple enough. After all, the brothers had dealt with plenty of werewolves before and this hunt should be no different.

* * *

The next day, two days after Dean had sent Castiel away, he decided he had to do something about his wrist. He had been rubbing it constantly since he noticed the pain, hoping that it would help, but there was no such luck. It just got stronger with every day that passed, to the point where it was becoming unbareable.

Dean walked out of the motel room and down the hall to the ice machine. It wasn't much, but it couldn't hurt. After filling a small bag with ice, Dean walked back to the room, grabbed a towel and sat down on the bed. He wrapped the bag in the towel and held it to his wrist.

As he held the bag of ice, Dean tried to think of what he could have possibly done to make his wrist hurt that badly. The only thing he could think of was the hunt he and Sam had just finished. He must have done something then, even if he didn't explicitly remember it.

A few minutes later, Sam came into the motel room carrying dinner. He set it down on the table and looked at his brother. "What happened?" Sam asked. He was only gone for a half hour, and yet somehow his brother had managed to injure himself.

"Must have banged up my wrist really bad on that last hunt."

"It's still bothering you?" Sam asked.

"It keeps getting worse," Dean admitted, reluctantly.

Sam was surprised. Dean never admitted that he was in pain. Ever.

"Something I can do?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so."

Sam stared at his brother for another moment before asking, "Do you want to see a doctor? I mean if it's hurting that bad—"

"No doctors," Dean responded simply. Dean tried to avoid hospitals at all costs. First, there were the normal reasons that came with being a hunter. The hospitals asked questions and often took a lot of time. But for Dean, there was another reason. If doctors found that Dean didn't have a name, they decided they needed to run more tests to figure out what was wrong with him. Dean knew there was nothing wrong with him. He just didn't have a name. There was absolutely no reason for additional tests that wouldn't even give him any information. And because it was his wrist, Dean knew there was absolutely no way that Dean could have hidden the fact that he didn't have a name.

"If it gets worse—" Sam started.

"We'll deal with that later," Dean said. "Do we know where this things gonna be?"

Sam sighed. Leave it to Dean to change the subject from himself. "I think so. If we head to the forest east of town, it should be there in two days."

"You're sure about this?" Dean said, lifting the ice and examining his wrist.

"I'm sure," Sam promised.

* * *

Dean woke up the next morning and still felt the sharp pain in his wrist. However, Dean didn't have any time to focus on that pain. He quickly jumped out of bed, ran into the bathroom, and vomited violently into the toilet.

He stayed hunched over the toilet, dry heaving for a few minutes after, just to be sure he was completely done. Dean wasn't sure what had happened, but he was sure that he did not want to live through that experience again.

* * *

Sam and Dean returned back to the motel room after grabbing some lunch at a local diner. Sam wanted to do some more research and Dean wasn't about to argue. He was still feeling like utter crap and not having to do any work sounded like a fantastic idea.

The brothers weren't even in the hotel room for ten minutes before Dean was back in the bathroom vomiting again.

"What is going on?" Sam asked when Dean emerged from the bathroom.

"Huh?

"You. You were fine a few days ago."

"I'm fine, Sam," Dean said trying to convince his brother, and himself. Dean let out a loud, strangled cough.

"Bullshit," Sam replied. "Now, seriously, what's going on with you?"

"I don't know. Everything just kinda went to hell a few days ago."

"Do you think you got something at the last motel?"

"Probably. Don't know what else it could be."

"Why don't you get Castiel?" Sam suggested.

"No," Dean responded instantly.

"Why? He healed you all those other times, maybe he could help this time," Sam reasoned.

"Because he's coming."

"Why not?" Sam persisted.

"Just leave it, Sam."

"Not until you tell me why Castiel won't come. He always did, even before you called sometimes. What's so different now?"

"I asked him to leave," Dean mumbled.

"What?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"I asked him to leave," Dean repeated, a little louder this time, although it wasn't louder by much.

"Yeah, I heard that the first time. Why'd you tell him to leave?"

"It doesn't matter."

"What did you do?" Sam persisted.

"I didn't do anything," Dean said defensively.

"Dude, just tell me what happened."

"He's possessing some guy," Dean reluctantly admitted.

"Seriously? That's what all of this is about."

"He is possessing some guy. Keeping him from his family. What was I supposed to say?" Dean said, standing up and facing Sam.

"It's just-don't you think you're being kinda hard on him?" Sam asked.

"No," Dean responded instantly.

"Dean—"

"What? If you're just going to tell me to forgive him again, forget it."

"What is such a big deal if he has to use a human vessel? Especially after everything he has done for you."

Dean let out a breath. Sure, Sam had a point, but it didn't mean Dean wanted to agree with it. "He's taking that poor man away from his family, away from his soulmate."

"So that's what all of this about?" Sam asked.

"Of course that's what all of this is about. That man has a soulmate, a family. And Castiel is taking all of that away from him. No one should have to do that," Dean explained.

"So what? You're going to just let him go and never talk him again?"

"If it means that the guy Castiel is possessing gets to go back to his family, yes."

"Even after everything he's done for you?"

"Just drop it, Sam. He's gone and he's not coming back," Dean said determinedly.

* * *

Dean woke up the next morning, still feeling nauseous, although it wasn't as bad as it was the day before. He got up, with the intention to start getting ready for the day. But as soon as he stood up, the entire world started to spin and Dean immediately reached out a hand to steady himself on the bed.

When the room stopped spinning, Dean carefully made his way to the bathroom and took a shower.

The dizziness would not leave Dean alone. Throughout the entire day, Dean was forced to reach out and grab something, or someone, to steady himself.

He made a mental note that at some point he should probably figure out what was going on. As he thought about it, Dean decided that the dizziness was probably just from all of the vomiting the day before, and that was probably from something he picked up at one of the nasty motels he and his brother stayed in. It was nothing he couldn't deal with, even if the pain in his wrist refused to go away.

* * *

Dean was asleep on one of the beds. Even while Dean slept, Sam could tell that his brother was in pain.

Sam stepped out of the motel room, quietly closing the door behind him. His brother was stubborn. There was absolutely no denying that. But Sam knew that he had to do something.

Sam looked around the empty motel parking lot. He took a deep breath, still not sure if this was going to work at all. But it was worth a shot. "Castiel?" Sam called hesitantly. Sam stood still for a minute, waiting.

"Castiel?" Sam tried again, this time speaking a little louder.

Again, there was no response.

"Come on, Castiel. Look, I know Dean said he didn't want to see you again, but he's really hurting. Please, can you just come and help him? Please?" Sam begged. He wasn't sure having Castiel come would help his brother, but that was the only thing that had changed since Dean started getting sick.

Sam still had his suspicions about Dean and Castiel. And if he was right, then the only thing that was going to make Dean better was having Castiel there. As crazy as it was, Sam knew that soulmates couldn't spend that much time apart without contact. Sam remembered when Jessica was still around. They couldn't go without contact for more than twenty-four hours without noticing a difference, even if that contact was just talking on the phone.

It had been almost four days, and Sam couldn't even imagine how bad Dean was really hurting. The longest Sam had been away from Jess after they met and before she died was two days and that was because a storm knocked out power while Jess was visiting her family over a break. Those two days were torturous and Sam didn't even want to think about going for longer than that. And besides, Sam knew his brother, whatever pain he was in was significantly worse than what Dean was admitting to, and Dean was already admitting to being in a lot of pain.

Sam glanced around the parking lot one final time, before accepting the fact that Castiel was not going to come. Sam let out a sigh in frustration. "Why can't you just come and help Dean?!" Sam said angrily, before returning back to the motel room

* * *

"Dean?" Sam said, gently shaking his brother in an attempt to wake him up. Dean had been absolutely exhausted when they came back from lunch and decided he was just going to lie down so he could have more energy for the hunt. Tonight was the full moon and the only chance they'd have to take care of the werewolf.

"What?" Dean answered weakly, barely cracking his eyes open.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic," Dean responded in his normal sarcastic tone.

"Seriously? You nearly passed out on me yesterday. I don't want you passing out on a hunt."

"I'll be fine, Sam," Dean said, swinging his legs over the bed and standing up. The dizziness was still there, but Dean knew he was just going to have to push through it. The werewolf had to be taken care of tonight.

Dean walked over to the chair and put on the jacket that was draped over it. "You ready?" Dean asked, as he fished the keys out of his pocket.

The drive to the forest was quiet, with both brothers deep in their own thoughts. After parking the Impala, Dean and Sam started their trek into the woods. Dean kept trying to focus on the task at hand, but it was proving to be difficult. He just couldn't stay focused. There were too many other things on his mind.

The two brothers walked for a half hour before they came to the same clearing they had visited yesterday. They stood there, guns ready and loaded with silver bullets, just waiting. Dean was still trying to focus his attention on the hunt, but his mind kept pulling him in other directions. Sam, meanwhile, heard some branches snap.

"Dean, behind you!" Sam yelled.

Dean whipped around and fired. The werewolf had moved just in time to avoid Dean's bullet and took off running toward the trees.

Sam had come over by his brother. "Come on. Get your head in it."

"Yeah. Sorry," Dean said, before running toward the trees where the werewolf was. Sam ran after his brother, hoping that his brother would be focusing better now.

Dean knew that he was off his game tonight. He had been sick for the last two days, and earlier today, he had been ready to pass out. He was still dealing with a few dizzy spells, but they weren't as frequent as they were earlier in the day. And then there was everything with Castiel. Dean, now more than ever, was questioning if he did the right thing. He missed Castiel, but he wasn't sure if he could forgive Castiel. It was just a lot to think about. Maybe—

"Dean!"

This time, Dean wasn't fast enough. The werewolf reached out one of his giant arms and scratched Dean across his face. The contact caught Dean by surprise and gave the werewolf a chance to grab Dean, pick him up, and throw him across the forest, where he hit a tree and slumped to the ground.

"Dean! Dean!" Sam called out, but his brother remained completely immobile.

Without wasting another second, Sam spun around to face the werewolf. Sam took aim and fired, hitting the werewolf square in the heart. The werewolf dropped to the ground, unmoving.

With the hunt finished and the werewolf dead, Sam ran over to where his brother lay crumpled in a heap of the ground. "Dean? Dean? DEAN!" Sam yelled frantically, hoping his brother would wake up. But Dean didn't even flinch. Sam moved his fingers along Dean's neck, trying to find a pulse. It was there, but it was so weak that Sam was worried that it was going to stop at any second.

Sam knew he had to get his brother to a hospital, and fast. There was blood still pouring out from where the werewolf struck him. Dean leg was bent at an unnatural angle and Sam knew it was going to be a challenge to get Dean to the car without injuring him further.

Sam moved to lift his brother when he heard something rustle and quickly turned around. He was surprised to see Castiel walking toward him.

"Castiel?" Sam asked, still not believing that the angel was actually there.

"Hello, Sam," Castiel responded without taking his eyes off of Dean. Castiel walked over and placed two fingers on Dean's forehead, just like he had done many times previous.

Almost instantly, Dean opened his eyes and Sam ran over to his brother.

"Dean? Dean? Are you alright?" Sam asked frantically.

"What? Yeah," Dean responded, trying to figure out what had just happened. He remembered the werewolf coming at him, but everything was black after that.

"Thank god."

"What happened?" Dean asked. Dean looked past Sam and saw Castiel standing a few feet behind Sam. His eyes widened. There was absolutely no reason for Castiel to be there. Unless, Castiel had decided to not listen to Dean and come and help him anyway.

Sam noticed that Dean wasn't looking at him any more, and was instead focusing on Castiel. "He healed you," Sam explained quickly. Even when Sam talked, Dean did not take his eyes off of Castiel.

"Thanks," Dean said in a small voice. He wasn't completely sure if he was ready to forgive Castiel, but he was still grateful that Castiel had come back even though Dean made it clear that he never wanted to see Castiel again.

"You are welcome," Castiel responded, still not taking his eyes off Dean.

Dean pulled himself to his feet and wiped the dirt from his hands on his jeans. He was still angry with Castiel, but Dean knew that he would have had to talk to Castiel at some point. And since Castiel was already here, now seemed like as good of time as ever. "Sam? Could you give us a minute?"

"Sure. Uh, I'll take the stuff and meet you by the car," Sam said, glancing between Dean and Castiel. Sam picked up the guns and headed back toward where they had parked the car.

Once Sam was out of sight, Dean wasted no time in asking questions. "Why did you come?"

"You were hurt," Castiel said simply.

"I got hurt on my last hunt and you didn't come then," Dean replied.

"You asked me to stay away from you."

"But you still came this time."

"Your injuries were much more serious this time. You needed help."

"Sam would have gotten me to a hospital."

"It would not have been fast or accurate enough. If I came and healed you, you would be healed faster and not have any lasting damage," Castiel explained.

"Yeah, well, thanks for that," Dean muttered.

Castiel turned around and started walking away.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked.

Castiel turned around and said, "The last we spoke, you told me that you didn't want to see me again. I am keeping that request."

"Ok," Dean sighed. Castiel was right. Dean had said that he never wanted to see Castiel again, but now that he was here, Dean wasn't sure that he wanted him to leave. Castiel had started walking away again.

"Wait!" Dean called. Castiel stopped and turned around to face Dean once more.

"What is it?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

Dean took a deep breath. "Are you really keeping that guy away from his soulmate?" Dean asked hesitantly.

"No," Castiel responded simply.

Dean was prepared for Castiel to answer yes. He had a whole speech planned in his head for that. But hearing no. That was definitely not what Dean was expecting to hear at all.

"Wait. What?"

"I am not keeping this man from his soulmate."

"How does that even work? The guy has a soulmate. I've seen his wrist. There is definitely a name there," Dean argued. There was just no logical explanation for it. At least, no logical explanation that Dean could come up with.

"His soulmate passed away nearly two years ago," Castiel responded.

"She died?"

"Yes. When his soulmate passed, he prayed for this."

"Why?"

"So he could help others."

Dean had to take a minute to process what Castiel had just told him. Castiel's vessel's soulmate was dead. Castiel's vessel prayed for this so he could help others. Castiel wasn't keeping a poor man from his soulmate. Castiel was doing exactly what the man had wanted.

"I'm sorry," Dean admitted quietly.

"I forgive you," Castiel responded.

Dean stared at Castiel for a moment before he asked, "So, Sam and I are gonna go get something to eat. You wanna come?"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thank you for your patience. It's been a hectic past couple of weeks. I'm also sorry that it's so short and not super plot heavy. Next chapter though. There's not much to say except thank you to everyone who has supported this story in any way. I really appreciate it.

* * *

"You wanted to talk to me?" Raphael asked.

"Yes," Michael responded, looking up at Raphael. "We seem to have problems."

"And that is?"

"You said that they would not be together," Michael said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Castiel and the human. They were supposed to drift apart on their own. That is not happening."

"I believed that after the human discovered that Castiel was using a vessel, that he would not want to see Castiel anymore," Raphael reasoned. "I did not think they would still speak after their argument."

"It appears that the human has moved past that detail and now they are together more than ever."

"I think we may have to get involved," Raphael suggested.

"I agree," Michael decided. "But _we_ do not have to. Not yet, anyway."

"What do you have in mind?"

* * *

"Come on, Cas. What do you say?" Dean asked, looking expectantly at Castiel.

"I have to be in heaven," Castiel replied.

"And you're sure you can't just skip it and stay here and help with this?"

"I'm sorry, Dean. They aren't happy as it is that I'm spending so much time down here."

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. "That's stupid. But I guess we'll see you later then."

"Good bye, Dean," Castiel replied before disappearing.

Sam smirked as Dean stood there staring at the spot where Cas had disappeared.

"What's so funny?" Dean asked turning around.

"What? Nothing," Sam said, trying to cover it up by looking at something on his laptop.

"Whatever," Dean said, pulling up a chair and sitting by Sam at the small table in their motel room. "So what's going on with this ghost?"

"So get this, there's been three deaths in the same area in the last ten years. Officially, everything's been ruled a suicide."

"But?" Dean prompted.

"But they've all died in the same way. All hangings in the same apartment."

"Ok. Let's go talk to the landlord," Dean said, pushing back on his chair and standing up from the table.

Sam closed his laptop and grabbed his jacket that was hanging over the backside of the chair.

* * *

Dean and Sam walked back into the hotel room after taking care of another vengeful spirit.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up and see if Cas wants to stop by," Dean told Sam.

Sam's smirked didn't go unnoticed by Dean. "Seriously, what is your problem?"

"Me? Nothing," Sam responded innocently.

"That's bullshit," Dean said bluntly. "Just like this morning."

Sam just smirked and shook his head.

"Seriously, dude."

"Ok. Fine. Um. Have you ever given any thought to the idea that you and Castiel might be – well, soulmates?" Sam asked awkwardly. It was one thing to have suspicions in his head, but something else entirely to confront Dean about his suspicions.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked while looking at his brother as if he had sprouted a second head.

"Well you know, all these things keep happening and it just seems more and more likely that…" Sam trailed off.

"So let me get this straight, you think me and Cas are soulmates?" Dean asked, still not believing Sam one bit.

"It all fits."

"Care to explain that to me, then?"

"The pain in your wrist, you got sick that time when you and Castiel fought and didn't talk for a few days. What more proof do you need?"

Dean pulled up his sleeve and held out his wrist toward Sam. "See this? It's blank. Always has been. Always will be. I don't have a soulmate."

"But everything else—"

"Is just a coincidence. All of my joints hurt at some time or another. It's just part of the job. And getting sick? Have you seen some of the motel rooms we stay in? I probably just picked something up from there."

"Dean, just hear me out for one minute. Please," Sam pleaded.

"Fine, Sammy. Humor me," Dean said, pulling a chair out from the table and sitting down.

"When I first met Jess, the pain in my wrist was so strong it hurt. Just like yours did. And if we ever went for a while without talking we would both get sick. There was one time she was visiting her family and a huge snowstorm hit. If we at least talked on the phone, we were fine. But the storm knocked out their power so it was two days before we could finally talk again and both of us were sick by that point. But after we talked, everything was fine. It's just like when you and Castiel were fighting. After you guys talked, you were just fine. Dean, it all fits."

"You have completely lost it," Dean said shaking his head.

"Dean—"

"What do you want me to say, Sam?" Dean asked angrily as he stood up from the chair. "You want to believe all this crap, fine. But I know it's a load of crap. It's all just coincidence."

"After everything you see everyday, you're still going to think something like this is just coincidence?"

"Yeah, because I know the truth and that's that some angel is not my soulmate."

"Come on—"

"Just drop it, Sam," Dean said before walking across the small hotel room and slamming the bathroom door behind him.

Dean leaned forward on the bathroom sink, and let out a deep breath. There was no way Sam could be right, could there? _No_, Dean reminded himself, _I do not have a soulmate_. Dean had spent so much of his life trying to convince himself that one day his name would appear. After he gave up on that dream, he started working on trying to convince himself that it didn't matter that he was different and wouldn't have a soulmate. But now, he was being forced to actually think about the possibility, even if it was completely absurd. No, Dean concluded, there was no way some angel could be his soulmate. That just wasn't possible.

* * *

Sam watched his brother slam the bathroom door. He knew Dean was pissed at him, but thankfully, it wouldn't stay like that for long. Dean just couldn't stay mad at him. But knowing that Dean wouldn't stay mad at him for very long didn't give Sam much reassurance. Why couldn't Dean just look at the facts? Everything made sense and it was definitely more than a coincidence but Dean couldn't see that. Didn't he want to be happy?

Sam sat down on his bed wondering if there was a different way he could try and talk to Dean. Dean would probably try and forget about it, but Sam knew he had to get through to Dean. The only problem was Sam didn't know how he was supposed to get through to Dean.

Fifteen minutes later, Dean emerged from the bathroom. "All yours," Dean said shortly as he walked over to his bed. Without saying a word, Sam walked over to his stuff, grabbed a shower kit and a change of clothes before heading into the bathroom.

Once Sam was in the bathroom, Dean let out a long deep breath. He knew Sam wouldn't just drop the subject. Moreover, Dean would have to be on alert so he could avoid any and all of Sam's attempts at convincing Dean that Cas was his soulmate.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thank you again. I can't emphasize how much I appreciate all of your support. Here's the next chapter. Please consider leaving a review. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!

* * *

"For the love of—" Dean grunted, rubbing at his wrist and sitting up in bed. He could never remember having this many problems with his wrist, or any body part for that matter, when he was younger. So why now all of the sudden did his body decide it was going to make Dean's wrist throb in pain every now and then. What was worse was that Dean forgot how much pain his wrist could cause, since it wasn't as if hi wrist was constantly in pain.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the pain and focus on something else, but he just couldn't do it. The pain was there and it was going to make its presence known.

Grimacing and knowing that he wasn't going to be getting anymore sleep tonight thanks to his wrist, Dean got up and decided he would get a head start on the research. So far, they had very little to go on. Just that three different men had all been found dead in their own homes while their doors were locked from the inside. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Sam and Dean to know they had a case here.

While Sam slept, Dean started searching through police records to try and find out what could have possibly connected three victims.

After nearly two hours of researching and finding a whole lot of nothing, Dean decided he needed a break from staring at the computer screen, Dean grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair, double checked that the keys to the Impala were in his pocket along with a room key, and headed out to get some breakfast for him and Sam.

On the drive, the throbbing in his wrist seemed determined, more than ever, to make its presence known. Dean had tried everything he could think of, ice, heat, pain medication, but nothing seemed to help the pain. All Dean kept thinking was that he hoped it would get better. The other times he had had pain, the pain had been strong, but always went away on its own and that's all Dean could hope for.

Dean pulled the Impala back into the motel parking lot after getting his and his brother's usual breakfasts. It was nothing special, but that was life on the road. Breakfast from whatever local diner they were near and a crappy cup of coffee. But it could be worse, there were days growing up when Dean would have given anything to have this type of breakfast.

Dean opened the door to the motel room as quietly as he could in an effort to not wake his brother. It turned out that Dean wouldn't have had to be quiet as Sam was already up and researching at the table. Dean remained silent and set the breakfast down on the table.

"You're up early," Sam commented as Dean opened the to go box containing his breakfast.

"Couldn't sleep," Dean replied shortly.

Sam didn't say anything. Instead, he reached over into the bag and took out the food Dean had brought back for him. Sam opened his box and dug in as Dean started explaining what he had figured out about the hunt.

"So I was looking into it this morning and there's not much of anything connecting these three guys," Dean said, rubbing his wrist.

"Your wrist bothering you again?"

Dean instantly let go of his wrist. "What? No, I'm fine," Dean lied.

"That's bullshit."

"Ok. Fine. Yeah, my wrist is bothering me, but it's not a big deal."

Sam glared at Dean.

"It's fine. I swear. Now can we just focus on the hunt?"

"Fine. So they got nothing in common?"

"As far as I can tell. Different social circles, different jobs, different everything. They didn't even live near each other."

"Well that's just fantastic," Sam said, taking over the computer. Hopefully he could find something that Dean had overlooked.

"Tell me about it."

Sam's searching did little to help their progress. Sam and Dean finished up breakfast, got changed, and headed out to talk to the families to see if they could find some kind of connection to figure out what could have been killing these men.

* * *

The next day, Dean was worse. Sam had woken up to the sound of Dean vomiting in the bathroom. Sam stumbled out of bed, over to bathroom and saw his brother hunched over the toilet, emptying all of the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

"You ok?" Sam asked before mentally slapping himself. Of course his brother wasn't ok, and knowing Dean, he was probably going to say something along the lines of 'it's fine' or 'it's nothing, just go get breakfast'.

"Yeah. Must've just ate something funny. Be out in a –" The end of Dean's sentence was cut off by his need to vomit.

There was nothing Sam could do except stand there and watch his brother and that killed him. He wanted to be able to be there to help Dean, just like Dean had helped him growing up, but there was nothing he could do.

After what seemed like an eternity, Dean flushed the toilet and clumsily stood up. He started to tip over and reached out to grab the counter for support, but Sam was there before he could even grab the counter.

"Just take it easy," Sam said.

"I'm fine," Dean insisted, shaking Sam off.

"That's crap and you know it."

"I'm fine. Can we please just finish this hunt?" Dean asked, walking passed Sam to the small table in the motel room.

Sam sighed, cursing his brother's stubbornness. Couldn't Dean see how much pain he was really in? Sam knew his brother had always been that way and had no doubt that it would ever change. But this, assuming Sam was correct, Dean could fix. All he needed was Cas and Dean would be ok again.

"Hey Dean?" Sam asked.

"I'm fine, Sam," Dean replied, not looking up from the file he was reading.

"That's not what I was going to ask."

"Fine. What?" Dean asked, looking up at his brother.

"When was the last time you talked to Cas?"

"I dunno. Few days, why?"

"Have you tried calling him?"

"What is your problem?"

"Just answer the question," Sam begged.

"Yeah. He's just probably just busy or something."

That was different. Cas always came when Dean called. Always. He even came when Dean didn't call.

"It doesn't strike you as strange that he hasn't stopped by?"

"Not really," Dean responded, going back to the file he was reading.

Sam walked over to the table and sat down. "Seriously?"

Dean looked up. "Yeah, seriously. Cas is probably just busy or something. No need for to get your panties in a knot."

"You're impossible," Sam muttered, reaching over to open his laptop. Hopefully they could crack this case soon.

* * *

The day after that wasn't much better. Dean was not only puking his guts out, but was also repeatedly nearly passing out. Thankfully Sam was there to catch him before he hit the ground.

"Seriously, that's the third time you've nearly passed out on me," Sam said as he supported his brother as he tried to stand on his own.

"Sorry," Dean muttered. Sam, still supporting Dean, started walking back to the Impala. "Wait, we have to go the other way. We gotta talk to the chick's dad."

"You nearly just passed out on me. Again."

"I'm fine, Sammy. Come on we can finish this hunt," Dean insisted.

"Not like this we can't. Even if we find out where she's buried, how're we going to take care of it."

"You can dig," Dean pointed out.

"Yeah, and what's going to happen when you pass out again and the spirit comes? Then what?"

Dean hadn't thought about that. As much as he wanted to finish this, he knew he couldn't just let Sam go out there unprotected. Very reluctantly, Dean admitted, "You're right."

Dean shook Sam's grip off and moved toward the driver's seat.

"No way," Sam said.

"Excuse me."

"How many times do I have to remind you that you nearly just passed out on me for the _third_ time today?"

"But I'm fine now."

"And what happens if you get another dizzy spell while you're driving? You gonna just crash your car?"

Dean scowled and moved out of the way. He tossed Sam the keys and said, "I'm sorry, baby. It's just a one time thing. I promise."

Sam just rolled his eyes. Only Dean would apologize to his car for not driving it. Sam got in and turned on the car, while Dean reluctantly got in to the passenger side. It just felt wrong riding in the passenger seat. He hadn't done that in a long time. Well, actually, as Dean thought about it, it had been a couple of months when Sam had convinced him not to drive because he was passing out that day.

"Since we're not finishing the hunt tonight, what are we doing?" Dean asked.

"Dunno. Trying to keep you from passing out?" Sam joked.

"Not funny."

"It's a little funny."

Dean just glared at his brother, angry at the entire predicament.

"Why don't you call Cas and see if he could drop by?" _and maybe cure your sickness_, Sam added mentally.

"I already told you, he's probably busy or something."

"Try again," Sam insisted.

Ten minutes later, Sam was pulling the Impala into the motel parking lot. Sam and Dean got out and started walking toward their room. "Keys?" Dean asked, extending a hand.

"Where do you plan on going?"

"Nowhere. I just want my keys."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Fine. Here," Sam said, handing over his keys.

Dean opened the motel room and sat down on a chair. He was starting to feel dizzy again and didn't want to give Sam another reason to freak out.

"So you gonna call Cas or what?" Sam asked.

"Uh yeah. Just give me a minute," Dean responded. He took a couple of deep breaths and tried to clear his head.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Fine. Hey, Cas? You wanna come down here?" Dean asked. He really, really hoped that Cas would come. It had been nearly four days and while Dean would never admit it to Sam, he was really starting to miss Cas.

Sam and Dean both waited, hoping that Cas would show up. After a minute, Dean looked at Sam and gave him a look that said "told you he wasn't coming".

Sam remained silent. Seriously, where was Cas? "Um, so you want me to go get dinner or something?"

"Sure. I'll take a burger. Extra onions."

"I know. Can I have the keys?"

"Fine," Dean said, tossing them over. "Don't mess up my car."

"I won't. Be back soon."

Dean watched Sam leave the motel room. He stared across the empty room, still hoping that Cas would show up. "Come on, Cas. Please?" Dean hated that he sounded like he was begging, but there was nothing else he could do.

"Please, Cas." Unsurprisingly, Dean didn't get a response. "Where are you, man?"

Cas still wasn't answering and it was really starting to scare Dean. Cas had always come, but now there was nothing. What if something had happened to him?

* * *

Sam stepped outside of the motel room and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the Impala and leaned against it. What the hell was he supposed to do? His brother was hurting, even if Dean wouldn't admit it.

"Castiel!" Sam called, hoping the angel was listening. He didn't know what else to do. This wasn't like last time. Dean and Cas were still on good terms, yet it seemed like Cas wasn't coming to help Dean, something that was completely unlike Castiel. "Come on, man. Dean needs you. You might not need him, but he needs you. Just help him!" Sam waited for nearly two minutes before accepting that Cas just wasn't coming. All Sam could say was that there was going to be hell to pay once Cas did finally decided to show up.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's left a review. I love hearing what you guys think. Enjoy the next chapter.

* * *

Dean was getting worse with each hour that passed and Sam was at a loss of what to do. It had been nearly a week and despite each brother's begging, the angel was nowhere to be found.

Sam had called Bobby and had all but begged him to come out to Tennessee and to finish the hunt for them. There was no way that Dean could hunt in his condition. When Bobby got to their motel room, he took one look at Dean and didn't question finishing the hunt. Sam, meanwhile worked on trying to find some way to cure his brother that didn't involve seeing Castiel.

Unfortunately, as far as Sam could tell there was no other way. Even all of the medical sites said there was no way. Of course there were things you could to help the pain, but there was nothing to flat out cure it. Sam had yet to share any of this information with Dean, partly because Dean didn't believe he had a soulmate and partly because he didn't want to freak Dean out.

Sam glanced over to the bed where Dean had spent the last day and a half. Staring at his brother, Sam was strongly considering bringing Dean to a hospital. Sam knew Dean would protest it and that he would have to deal with the inevitable questions, but he didn't have a lot of options at the moment.

It also didn't help that Sam didn't know what to expect. There wasn't much information about what would happen if a person went more than a week and a half without seeing their soulmate. IN fact there wasn't any information about what would happen if Dean went more that twelve days and Sam really didn't want Dean to be the first person to experience it. He had dealt with enough in his life. He didn't need that.

Sam heard a knock on the door and moved to get it. He grabbed the knife that was sitting on the chair. He got the knife ready as he opened the door, just in case.

"You tryin' to stab me boy?"

"Sorry, Bobby. Didn't realize it was you. Come on in," Sam said, stepping aside.

"How is he?" Bobby asked as he stepped into the room and looked at Dean who was still asleep on the bed. Bobby could tell that it wasn't a relaxing sleep. There was a look of pain etched in Dean's face.

"He just keeps getting worse. I don't know what to do," Sam admitted.

"Any ideas as to why he's like that. It's gotta be bad if it can make Dean stop hunting," Bobby commented, staring at the elder Winchester.

"I've got on idea," Sam said before explaining his whole theory about how Dean really does have a soulmate and that his soulmate was the angel that had pulled him out of Hell.

"How do you think do you think I look?"

"But it all fits," Sam protested. Someone had to believe him. He couldn't really be that crazy, could he? "The pain, the needing to be together, the sickness when he's not around. What more proof do you need?"

Bobby sighed. He wasn't sure he wanted to believe Sam, or if he even could, but he had to admit that Sam made a good argument. "You talk to your brother about it?"

"He thinks I'm crazy."

"I don't blame him."

"But all the evidence—"

"Sam, just listen for a minute. Your brother's gone his whole life believing he's gonna be alone and he's got every reason to and now you expect him to just believe you when you say he's got a soulmate? Are you really that stupid?"

"When you put it like that," Sam muttered.

"Just think things through next time before you try convincing your brother of these things."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "But, if I'm right, then all he needs is Cas to show up. It worked last time."

"It's been this bad before," Bobby asked, his voice full of concern.

"It wasn't this bad. It was about three days, but once Cas came back, Dean was fine."

"I see."

"But Cas won't come. I don't know why, but he's just not coming," Sam explained.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. If I'm right, there's nothing we can do. Only having Cas there would help him."

"And if you're not right?" Bobby asked.

"Then I don't know. Even if it gets worse, Dean won't let me take him to a hospital. But the thing is, his symptoms, they all line up perfectly with someone who hasn't seen their soulmate for a period of time."

"So what're you gonna do? Just wait it out?"

"That seems to be all I can do."

Before Sam and Bobby's conversation could continue any farther, Dean started groaning loudly.

"Dean?" Sam asked, moving closer to the bed. Every time his brother had woken up, he had been in more pain, he'd felt more nauseous, and he'd felt more light headed. Sam did his best, but he could barely get his brother to keep water down, let alone actual food. Dean just kept getting weaker and there was nothing Sam could do to stop it.

"Sam, it hurts," Dean whimpered. If Bobby wasn't concerned just by looking at Dean, he was sure concerned now. Dean never admitted he was in pain, so Bobby was sure that the pain had to be bad.

"I'm sorry Dean, but I can't give you anything more. You just took some stuff an hour ago."

"It hurts, Sammy."

"I know it does, but you gotta just keep fighting this," Sam encouraged, his heart breaking at how miserable Dean sounded.

"How long has he been like this?" Bobby asked.

"Well, it's been like this for the last two and a half days, but the lesser stuff started eight days ago."

"Balls," Bobby said angrily. It was way worse than he could have anticipated.

"I know," Sam agreed, his attention still focused on his brother.

"Make it stop," Dean begged. "Sam, make it stop."

"I'm trying, Dean. I'm trying, but there's not much I can do."

"Get Cas," Dean said. "Get Cas, he can fix it."

Sam froze. That was the first time throughout all of this that Dean had mentioned Cas.

"I want Cas. Where is he?" Dean asked through the pain.

"I don't know, Dean."

"I want him. He'll make the pain go away."

Sam didn't know what he was supposed to say. He knew that having Cas there would completely cure Dean. But Sam couldn't get Castiel and Sam knew that before Dean had gotten to this state, he had prayed and asked for Cas to get down here. But for whatever reason, Cas was ignoring them. All Sam could hope was that this begging on Dean's part would get Castiel here.

"Bobby, what do I do?" Sam asked, turning to face the elder hunter.

Bobby just shook his head. "I don't know, Sam. All you can do is hope that that angel gets its ass down here."

"And if he doesn't?"

"One problem at a time, Sam."

* * *

As it turned out, Castiel was still ignoring the Winchesters and Dean just kept getting worse. Bobby had decided that he would stick around at least until Dean got better.

It had been ten days since Dean had seen Cas and Dean was in near unbearable pain.

"Make it stop," Dean begged.

"I'm trying, Dean. But you gotta hold on. Bobby'll be back soon," Sam promised. Bobby had left about forty five minutes ago after deciding that neither he nor Sam could sit and just watching Dean suffer. Despite how much Sam wanted to take his brother to a hospital, Bobby managed to convince him otherwise.

_"They'll be able to help him more than we can," Sam argued._

_"But they won't help him until they run a million tests on him. He doesn't have a name and even if we make one up, they're not stupid enough to fall for it. Believe me, we tried plenty of times growing up."_

_"But they can give him something for the pain. All we can do is just sit here and watch him suffer. Is that what you want?"_

"No and stop turning this back on me! I want to take him to a hospital. But what are we supposed to say. 'Hi my brother doesn't have a name on his wrist but all of his symptoms for the last day and a half line up perfectly with what happens when a person doesn't have contact with their soulmate'? How the hell would we supposed to explain this to them?"

_Sam sighed and sank back in his chair. "I know you're right, but what else are we supposed to do?"_

"I could see if I could get some morphine or something from the hospital."

_"You're going to break into a hospital?" Sam asked._

"_Wouldn't be the first time," Bobby responded passively. "I'll be back soon. Keep an eye on your brother."_

"I will. Just hurry."

"But Sam, it hurts. It really fucking hurts. I think it's getting worse."

"What's getting worse?"

"Everything. It all hurts."

"Bobby'll be back soon. Just hang on."

"Want Cas here," Dean muttered.

"I know, Dean. I know."

Thankfully, it was not even two minutes after that that Bobby walked through the door.

"Thank God," Sam said, clearing some space by the bed so Bobby could get everything set up.

It took less than ten minutes for Bobby to get everything set up. Now all they could do was wait and hope that the drugs would at least numb the pain a little. Dean had a high pain tolerance, but that didn't mean that right now he wouldn't pass up something that would help with the pain.

An hour later, Sam asked, "How you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck," Dean muttered.

"Is the medicine helping?"

"A little."

"That's good."

"Still hurts though," Dean added.

"I know," Sam said. "Hopefully you get through this soon."

"Any word from Cas?" Dean asked hopefully.

"Sorry dude." Sam really was sorry. He knew that was the only way to help his brother and he couldn't control it. Yeah, Sam was definitely going to hurt that bastard when he decided to finally show up.

""snot your fault. He's probably busy."

Sam remained silent. Only his brother would say something like that. Most people would just whine and complain, sort of like how Sam had been acting. But no, Dean was convinced that Cas was just busy and that seeing him could wait.

* * *

"This plan seems to be working well."

"I would have to agree, Michael. With any luck, the human will be dead soon."

"Hopefully, as long as the angels don't fail."

"They won't," Michael said to Raphael confidently. "I'm sure of it."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. I was having a very difficult time writing this chapter and I have a big bang for another fandom due on the 25th. But thank you so, so much for all of your patience. Thanks for all the reviews and please consider leaving one after this chapter. I really want to know what you guys think, good or bad. Thanks again and enjoy!

* * *

"Sam, I want Cas," Dean groaned through the pain. That was all Dean had said to both Sam and Bobby for the last few hours and each time it broke Sam's heart more to tell his brother that he couldn't have Cas.

"I know you do, Dean. Bobby and I are working on it," Sam promised.

"I want Cas, Sammy. I need him," Dean repeated, sounding more desperate than before. It had been two weeks since Dean and Cas had had any contact with each other and Sam and Bobby were doing everything they could to help Dean.

"We're trying." Sam turned to Bobby who was researching something on the internet, hoping he would find a cure for Dean. Sam and Bobby had been alternating who researched and who took care of Dean for the past couple days. Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot of information out there. They were doing everything they could medically, but what they really needed was Dean's soulmate. But Cas hadn't been answering their prayers for the last two weeks, despite countless attempts from Dean, Sam, and Bobby.

"Anything?" Sam asked, hopefully. With every hour that passed, it was harder to keep up hope. Sam had already dealt with three months of Dean being dead. He wasn't ready to spend the rest of his life without Dean.

Bobby did his best to ignore Dean's pleas. "Maybe," Bobby responded.

"Really? What is it?" That was the closest they had been to any type of solution since they started researching.

"A summoning ritual," Bobby said simply.

"Summoning ritual? You mean like—"

"Like summoning a demon, yeah."

"Can you really do that with an angel?" Sam didn't even think that was possible, but he was willing to try anything if it meant that his brother would get better.

"Seem like you can. Just a little bit different ritual."

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's do it," Sam said, ready to follow all of Bobby's orders so they could do the ritual right away.

"Sam," Bobby said, hesitantly. "There's a possibility that this won't work. You've gotta understand that."

"But we've gotta at least try it, Bobby. After how many days of research, this is the only thing we've got. You can't tell me that you just want to give up."

"I don't wanna give up. I just want you to be aware that there is a possibility that this won't work."

"Yeah. But what other choice do we have? Letting Dean die? Now come on. What do we need?" Sam asked, impatiently. The sooner his brother was better, the better.

* * *

Sam dropped the match into the mixture and held his breath. This just had to work. If this didn't, Sam had no idea what else he could do. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

When he opened them, Sam saw Castiel standing there, looking the same as he always did. While it seemed that Dean was suffering, it appeared that Cas hadn't gone through any type of pain or sickness. Maybe Dean and Cas weren't soulmates? No, Sam had decided as soon as the thought crossed his mind. They had to be soulmates. After everything Dean had gone through in the past few months, there was no other explanation for it.

"Where have you been?" Sam asked angrily. Part of Sam was relieved because maybe now, his brother might actually get better, but the other part of him wanted to murder the bastard for doing this to his brother.

"I've been busy."

"That's never stopped you before," Sam pointed out.

"Where I've been is not important." Cas glanced at Dean who seemed to be doing much better now that Cas was in the room. He was still asleep, but even from a distance, Sam could tell that his brother was a lot more relaxed, even if he didn't know that Cas was there.

Cas crossed the room and stood next to Dean.

"He's needed you, you know," Sam said, a little calmer now that he could tell that his brother was doing better. Although, it didn't mean that Sam was completely ready to trust Cas with everything again. After all, Cas had just left his brother for two weeks without any kind of contact.

"I know, Sam."

"Then why haven't you been here?" Sam snapped.

Cas ignored Sam and reached out two fingers. He gently placed them on Dean's forehead, presumably to fix some of the damage. After holding the fingers there for a few seconds, Castiel frowned.

Sam and Bobby both seemed to notice this. "What's wrong?" Sam asked, nervously. This was supposed to fix Dean completely. Dean had to be fixed completely. If an angel couldn't heal him, how bad was the damage?

"I can't fix him."

"What do you mean you can't fix him?" Bobby asked.

"I mean, there is damage. I can fix some, but it will take time for Dean to heal on his own."

"You're an angel. Isn't this supposed to be what you do?" Sam asked. Sam resisted the urge to yell at Cas because this was all his fault. If he could have just popped in every day, just for a minute or two, Dean wouldn't be in this situation.

"Cas?" Dean asked quietly, although it was unclear if it was because he knew that Cas was there or if he was just asking for Cas like he had been for the past few days.

"Hello, Dean."

"Cas?" Dean asked again, his voice full of shock when he noticed that Cas was actually standing in the motel room.

Dean started to sit up, and Sam and Bobby knew that Dean was getting better. He hadn't been able to sit up for the past few days. But now, here he was, sitting up on his own. It was obvious that Dean wasn't completely back to normal. Sam could tell he was still in a little pain, just because of the slight hesitation as he moved. But for the most part, Dean seemed to be doing a lot better.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked, still trying to comprehend that Cas was standing right in front of him.

"Sam and Bobby summoned me," Cas replied simply, not taking his eyes off Dean. Dean also seemed to be completely focused on Cas.

"Sure, come for them, but not for me," Dean grumbled.

"I got really busy with things in heaven. I'm sorry," Cas apologized. Dean would never know how truly sorry Castiel was that he had to go through all of this.

"Still could have come. Never stopped you before," Dean reasoned.

"I know. I wanted to come, but I couldn't." Cas wanted to beg for Dean's forgiveness. He had never wanted to cause Dean so much harm.

"Why?"

"I'll explain it later."

"Now seems like a great time," Dean said.

"You need to rest and get better," Cas reasoned.

"Can't you just heal me like you always do?"

"I'm sorry, but this is the one thing I cannot fix," Cas said apologetically.

"Why not?"

"I already tried. I can't fix this," Cas repeated, still extremely apologetic. "I wish I could."

Dean didn't respond to that comment. Instead he just stared straight ahead at the wall.

"You should rest," Cas suggested.

"If I go to sleep, you're not going to leave are you?" Dean asked quietly. He didn't want to admit it, but he really, really did not want Cas to go. He had been away for two weeks and now that he was finally back, Dean was scared he was going to lose him again.

"I will stay," Cas promised.

Cas sat down on the bed next to Dean and Dean, not realizing what he was doing, shifted on the bed so he could move closer to Cas. Dean closed his eyes, after deciding he believed Cas, and went to sleep, hoping that when he woke up, he would not only feel better, but Cas would keep his promise and still be there.

Sam and Bobby just watched from a distance, now that their job was complete. Cas was back and Dean seemed to be getting better. It wasn't instant healing like the two had expected, but it was a definitely a significant improvement. Bobby believed that it was taking longer to heal because Dean and Cas had been apart for so long. Although, he couldn't be certain.

* * *

With Cas and Dean occupied with each other, Sam helped Bobby pack up his things for his drive back to South Dakota. Sam followed Bobby out of the room and out to his car.

"Do you believe me now?" Sam asked, when he was sure he was out of earshot. Cas could probably still hear them, but it was much more important that Dean didn't hear them. Dean got angry and defensive any time Sam brought up the idea of soulmates and Sam really just wanted him to rest and get better right now.

"Believe you about what?" Bobby asked.

"Dean and Cas," Sam clarified. Bobby had to believe him. After everything he had seen over the last couple of days, there was no way that anyone couldn't believe Sam.

Bobby sighed. "Look, Sam. I'll admit there's definitely something up with those two, but your brother is just not going to accept it."

"Why not? There's all the proof he needs right there."

"Sam, your brother has spent his entire life thinking he's going to be alone. Lord knows that you leaving for Stanford didn't help the situation. But it's going to take a lot to convince him otherwise."

"I know. I just wish he'd see it. I mean, this is something that is finally going right in Dean's life. If could see it if he just opened his eyes."

"But you're Winchesters, so you can be stubborn asses, especially your brother. If he don't wanna believe something, it's going to take a whole lot of convincing to change his mind."

Sam sighed. "I know. Maybe this will be enough to make him see it."

"I doubt it," Bobby responded honestly. "Look, for now. Just make sure that angel stays around. Even if it's not soulmate stuff, he should be able to heal your brother otherwise."

"If that bastard stays around."

"You got a spell to help if he doesn't."

"So what?" Sam asked angrily. "Every time Cas decides to not show up for two weeks I have to forcibly drag him here to look after my brother? Shouldn't he just come? If they really are soulmates, shouldn't this stuff be affecting Cas in the same way?"

"Maybe this stuff don't affect angels the same way?" Bobby suggested.

"Is that possible?" Sam asked.

"Here. I can fact check against this angel manual," Bobby said sarcastically.

"Right. Sorry, Bobby."

"Just take care of your brother, you idgit."

"I will. Thanks again for everything, Bobby."

Bobby just nodded in response before getting in to his beat up, old car and driving away. Sam stood back and watched him drive off, before heading back into the motel room. Dean had definitely been doing better, but he still wasn't completely back to normal yet. All Sam could do now was hope that Dean would be ok and that Cas would stick around so he didn't get stuck in this situation again. Sam knew for sure that he would have to talk to Cas at some point, and that talk was not going to be pretty.

* * *

"I thought you said this was going to work," Raphael demanded.

Michael sighed. "It should have. The angels were careless."

"This can't happen again. I believe Castiel suspects something."

"He has every right to be suspicious and because of that, he probably won't spend as much time in heaven."

"You mean he'll be on Earth with the human?" Raphael clarified.

"Yes."

"So what do we do now?"

"Now, we have to go on to our next plan. I'm afraid we will have to get involved this time."


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Two quick, important things. First, as always a huge thank you to everyone who has supported this story in anyway. I continue to be blown away by how well this is doing. Along those lines, this has officially become my most read story so thank you. Second, it is that time of year when I am back at school. I'm going to be doing my absolute best to keep updating at least as frequently as I have been, but if something comes up, I'm sorry. Sometimes school just has to come first. Finally, please consider leaving a review. I really love to hear what you guys think. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Even though Dean was better now that Cas was coming regularly, Sam couldn't help but still be angry with Cas. He had abandoned Dean, and that had caused Dean to nearly lose his life. Sam didn't want to think about what would have happened if Bobby hadn't thought to use the summoning ritual. But, Sam did decide that he had every right to be angry with Castiel. Sam had also decided that he didn't need to try and mask his anger toward Castiel. It was going to take a lot of effort on Cas's part to get Sam to trust him again, especially since right now, Sam wasn't even considering the possibility of trusting Cas again.

Sam and Dean had just checked into their new motel room for the night. It had been a day long drive out here and Sam and Dean both just wanted to go to bed. Sure they had grown up travelling from place to place, but that didn't mean that an entire day spent inside a car was necessarily relaxing, especially after the last hunt, which had been really difficult, physically and emotionally. Cases with children were always rough.

It also didn't help that Sam was constantly worrying that Cas would decide to just not show up for several days again. So far, Cas had been appearing at least once per day so Dean hadn't had to feel any pain. But Sam was cautious since the last time everything happened without warning.

"Hello, Dean," Cas said after he appeared in the room. The two brothers hadn't even started unpacking their duffels. Granted there wasn't a whole lot to unpack. They just needed to pack enough so that they could protect the motel room and change.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said cheerfully. It still amazed Sam how much of a better mood Dean would be in once Cas got there. The entire drive just felt off since neither brother really wanted to talk about what had happened on the previous hunt. They discussed possible theories for this hunt, but that conversation could only last so long because of their limited information.

"Look who finally decided to show up?" Sam commented sarcastically.

"Just drop it, Sam," Dean said. Every time Cas had stopped by, Sam had made some sarcastic comment and Dean was really starting to get annoyed with it.

Sam rolled his eyes before standing up from his chair and leaving the room. If Dean and Cas wanted to spend time together, that was great, especially for Dean, but Sam didn't want to be part of it. Sam was grateful that Cas was still showing up, but it didn't change what had happened in the past and Sam was certainly not ready to let that go.

Deciding that he didn't want to be in the same room as Cas, Sam left the motel room and took a walk. He had nowhere particular in mind. He just needed to clear his head and not be in the same room as Cas.

It had been easy for Dean to forgive Cas. Sam figured that there were two reasons for this. The obvious being that Dean was able to look passed the two weeks that Cas hadn't been there because Cas had eventually showed up. Sam figured this would be like if he were to do something. He knew that his brother would be able to forgive him for anything. Maybe Cas was like this.

The second reason was because of the soulmate connection. When Sam was with Jessica, he had found it so much easier to forgive her than it had been to forgive anyone else. It just came with having the deep connection. Sam still held true to the belief that Dean and Cas were soulmates, but that didn't mean Sam had to like him. Sam knew for a fact that there were plenty of people in the world who had soulmates that their families hated. Now Sam was just like those people.

By the time Sam came back several hours later, it appeared that Cas had left. Dean was sitting on the small table in their hotel room with Sam's laptop opened in front of him. Sam assumed that he was trying to pull up some more information on the hunt.

"Find anything?" Sam asked, avoiding the subject of Cas.

"Not too much, yet. We need to talk to some of the relatives tomorrow. That's the only way we are going to get anywhere on this case." Dean seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Sam. Every time Sam came back after Cas was gone, Dean never brought up the subject of Cas. It was an argument that was just not worth having.

"Ok. Let's plan on an early start tomorrow then."

"I can't wait," Dean responded sarcastically as he closed the laptop and headed to the bathroom.

"Dude, seriously, even when we were kids you always got the bathroom first," Sam said when he noticed Dean moving toward the bathroom. Sam had already dug his shower kit out of his duffel.

"Older brother privilege, Sammy," Dean said before shutting the door. Sam listened as Dean struggled to actually get the lock on the door to stay. That was the one problem with staying in these motels. The rooms were always in terrible condition.

Sam groaned. Some things will never change. While Dean was in the bathroom, Sam got to work on putting up all of the protection around the room.

* * *

Interviewing the family members of the victims did not get Sam and Dean very far. Instead, they went to the library to try to see if they could find some other connection between the victims.

After a long day of research and very little progress, the two boys returned to the motel. Both were agitated because of the small progress they had made on the case. However, Dean's mood drastically improved when Cas showed up that night. Sam, on the other hand, decided he was going to take a walk. After a long day of little progress, the last thing he wanted to deal with was Cas.

Sam returned to the motel room two hours later to discover that Cas hadn't left yet. Sure there were no rules about how long Cas should or should not stay, but Sam was sure he would be safe after two hours. Ignoring both Dean and Cas, Sam made his way over to his bed and pulled out his laptop. There had to be something on the Internet that would distract him from what was going on.

"I'll see you later then." Sam overheard Dean say. He couldn't help the relaxed feeling that washed over him once he knew that Cas was heading out for the night.

"I'll come tomorrow," Cas promised. Sam just shook his head and scowled and went back to his computer, hoping that the next time he looked up, Cas would be gone.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem?" Dean asked angrily once Cas was gone.

"I have no problem," Sam lied, knowing it was pointless. Dean had always been able to see right through them. Like the time when Sam eight and lied about taking some of the emergency cash to buy a new book. Sam knew that Dean knew it was him, but Sam would never admit to that. Thankfully though, Dean never ratted Sam out to their father.

"Bullshit. You've been riding Cas's ass ever since he got back."

"No I haven't," Sam lied again, setting his laptop off to the side of the bed.

"That's crap and you know it. I thought you liked the guy."

"I did—do," Sam corrected, hoping Dean didn't catch that. "But he left for two weeks."

"So he was busy," Dean said with a shrug.

"We both prayed to him, and he ignored us. You can't just ignore that."

"Yeah I can. Sure, it wasn't cool that he left us, but he's back now. And you can't forget that he is the reason that I'm topside."

"I know that, Dean, and I'm incredibly thankful that he pulled you out. I am eternally grateful that he pulled you out, but…" Sam trailed off.

"But what?" Dean prompted.

"But he still left you for two weeks."

"Seriously, that's the only argument you got? You left me and dad for four years," Dean pointed out.

Sam was taken aback by that statement. Of course it was true, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt. That was something he would have expected to come out of his father's mouth, not his brother's.

"You were gone for four years. Plus when you were a teenager, how many times did you shut me out? I still care about you, Sam. Hell, I gave my life so you could live."

"I know that, Dean."

"I forgave you. I forgave Cas. Why can't you just get that?"

"I almost had to watch you die. Again. I can't just move passed that," Sam explained as he stood up from the bed.

"But newsflash Sam. I didn't die."

"Because Cas finally showed up after Bobby and I used a freaking summoning ritual. That's what it took before he finally came to see you. It wasn't that you were dying. It was because we had to summon him. We had to force him to actually show up."

Dean took a deep breath.

"I've had to watch you die too many times already, Dean," Sam said as he thought, not only of when Dean's soul was dragged off to hell by the hellhounds, but also of the time when the trickster had forced Sam to watch Dean die hundreds of days in a row. Sure, his brother had always come back, but he had never known it at the time. Who knew when Dean was actually going to die and not come back? Sam didn't want to think about that.

"I'm sorry, Sam. But you have to realize that I trust Cas. I trust Cas almost as much as I trust you."

Sam's thoughts came to a complete halt. Dean's words replayed over and over in his mind. _I trust Cas almost as much as I trust you._ Dean didn't trust most people, just Sam, his dad, and Bobby. Now Cas was added to that list. If Sam had ever doubted that Dean and Cas were soulmates, this would have solidified his theory.

"I guess that after all he's done for me, I'm just able to look passed all of it."

Before Sam could stop himself, he said, "You just can't see this because…" Sam trailed off, realizing that if he continued that train of thought his brother was going to be really pissed at him.

"Because what?"

"Nothing. You're right. It doesn't matter."

"Fine. But will you just do me a favor and lay off Cas, alright? Please?" Dean added.

"Fine," Sam promised, even though it didn't mean he liked it.


End file.
